Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Total Silence

Can I have a single moment of Silence???

These noises are really becoming very difficult to deal with... My temper is really rocketing skyward! faster each and every minute.

*upset. very much upset...*

Wo Gandao Hen Shangxin...

Wo zhidao, jishi ni bu gaosu wo, ni shi man man li wo jian xing jian yuan. Ni zhen de bu ai wo shouxian he ai yongyuan buneng bei yaoqui jiyu de huibao.

Wo zheyang zuo wo ziji cuo zai xiangxin ni momingqimiao dui wo you tongyang de ganjue. Zhe dou shi wo de cuo, yinwei wo bu ying gai duoluo wei ni daxia wo de xin jiuxing le, zaici...

Wo xianzai man man di xuexi guanyu fangzhi ziji qu fujin de ni he wo de xin geng shang... Wo yue lai yue qiang de mei yitian liushi. Wo xianzai qiang zou li ni yuan qu... Wo zou dao li ni yiqian keshi dang ni da dianhua gei wo, wo zhuanshen pao huilai xiang ni... Duome yuchun de wo...

Wo xianzai yijing xiading le juexin, wo jueding likai ni zou... Zhe shi zuihou de...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Long Exposure Shots

I got to take my much awaited long exposure shots last night. The skies are velvet black but no rain falls, a little cold but it's exactly what I need.

Here are some of the shots:


Here's another:


And another one:




I have always been afraid of heights but I managed. I just can't fully concentrate because I can see cars passing by under the overpass.

My bestfriend Eddilyne told me at around 03:35am that an artist's work projects how he/she feels. I know the lights and all made the pictures lively and I know somehow the shots were a bit gloomy. It was a sad Saturday Night for me...

I'll wait for some of my friends Jeck, Melvin and Eunice to ask me out on a Photowalk again. Just to take my mind away from thinking too much. I need photography now more than ever... *sigh*

Here's the settings I used last night: (I also used a tripod).
Shutter Speed: 20"
ISO: 400
White Balance: Incandescent
F: 14

Saturday, June 25, 2011

No Matter How Many nth Times this ♥ Goes Broken... It'll Still Believe in that One True ♥...

Missing Long Exposure Photography

It’s been days since the typhoon “Falcon” soaked the Philippines again. I had been wanting to take a long exposure shots but the heavy rains prevented me from doing so and take that light trails from cars passing by C5 Road. I am hoping and praying that the rain would just stop and give me some time with Marley (my Nikon D3000) tonight at the C5 - Intersection Overpass.

*fingers crossed*



I took this picture like months ago, I really miss taking pictures… *sigh*

Turning Tables

♫ So I Won't Let You Close Enough to Hurt Me... No, I Won't Ask You, You to Just Desert Me... I Can't Give You what You Think You Gave Me... It's Time to Say Goodbye to Turning Tables... Under Haunted Skies I See, Where ♥ is Lost, Your Ghost is Found... I've Braved a Hundred Storms to Leave You... As You Try, No, I Will Never be Knocked Down... ♫

-Adele

This song just beat all the crap out of me... *sigh*

I just have to be stronger now and just be brave enough to leave...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"Than..." by: Kring

I used to be a contributor, then become a writer and an editor for our school newspaper some years ago, UPGRADE the Official Newsletter of Mapua IT Center had become my family and I miss our adviser Ma'am Neds, my friends and schoolmates whom I get to work with for quite some time. =)

I saw an old copy of UPGRADE and it was dated from way back late 2005. Volume 2, Issue 7, December 2005 and it made me laugh to see one old article-like from me. This made me laugh because I remembered funny, happy, not-so-happy and sad moments about a friend whom I wrote about. =P

"Sorry naman Dan, natawa ako dito. Promise!* hahaha! =P

= = = =

It was exactly one hundred days, eight hours, seven minutes and fifteen seconds from the very first moment that I have seen you sitting at the student lobby...

You were the first person who caught my attention. I don't know but there's something about you that makes me keep on looking and staring. I actually hated myself because I kept looking at where you are and it's funny 'coz I saw you glancing back at me. But then maybe, my mind was just playing tricks on me. (I also hated manong guard for telling me to take my shoes off the bench while browsing into my new student handbook and enjoying my little moment of just plainly staring at you... hmpt!) I told myself "hmmm... pwede... pwedeng pwede..." but to tell you frankly, you're not my type! Well, not my usual type... pero pwede...

My first impression of you? "Suplado".

After that special moment in the student lobby, I can't help but wonder and think of you. That sudden moment  I glanced at you, it felt so strange (sabi nga ni Harry Potter "it was like magic!"). And it really was! Your eyes were saying things that I can't understand, and maybe, I never will.

I was thinking of a way to know you. (Kahit nga pangalan mo lang okay na eh.) I never thought that we were  actually classmates (kala ko kasi sa School of IT ka... YES! sa MITc ka pala! Para akong tumama sa Lotto!). Hehehe.

The first conversation that we had? At the East Mezzanine (sa labas ng CISCO room). I remembered someone asked you if you belong to the CISCO 01 class and thank God you do! And you know what else? you actually sat right beside me! (hay... how kilig to the bones I felt deep inside...) From then on, we became friends. My newly-found friend.

I tried so hard to deny it to myself and to others how I am starting to fall for you. But I just can't help it. Everything about makes me fall for you even harder each day. Your personality, your attitude, the way you smile every time you see me (kahit na minsan puyat ka), the way you make me smile in return ('coz its been so long since the last time I smiled that way, so long that I actually forgotten how to), how artistically gifted you are, how we both love Final Fantasy, when you sat right next to me in the hallway while waiting for our professors (and you'd tell me how your day was the day before). Those were the simple things that made me fell for you.

I had fun when I get to tease you and tell you "Bakla ka kasi..." and you'll ask me "Mukha ba talaga akong bakla?" And I'd say "Oo" seriously. Hehehe... When I got the chance to "torture you" as you always told me, when I beat you up so badly, when you got nervous because you thought I'm mad at you, and when you tell me you're sorry because you were a little late replying my text messages. In short, I like it when you do such things for me. It means so much...

I like it when you brought my things for me, when I tell you "Uy, bitbitin mo na yung bag ko..." and you'll suddenly bring it for me, when you opened the doors for me. It was really nice of you to do simple things for me. Simple yet meaningful...

I love it when you'll suddenly look into my eyes and stare at me for as long as you want (haven't you noticed that I can't fight it? How stupid can you be?) Do you remember the time I told you how beautiful your eyes were? They're like the stars in a very stormy night and the most adorable pair of eyes I've ever seen in my whole life, well, it's true...) And also how sweet you smell... and that it lingers...

When you told me stupid and funny things that made me laugh so hard and the way you laughed in return, when I blurted you some jokes (kahit na nga minsan eh corny, okay pa rin sa'yo).

I always look forward to another school day with you, though it may not seem that way.

When I am not with you I always wanted to make lambing... but when I'm with you... I just don't know what to do. So I end up making your day miserable and horrible. Sometimes we end up being offended by each other (di ba nga sabi mo matampuhin ako).

When you smile and say hi to other girls in school, I felt jealous. I know I should not feel that way simply because I don't have the right to feel that way. But I still feel jealous and you know what my defense mechanism is? I don't talk to you for a while. When you're sitting next to those girls and you looked at me, I always tried to snub you. (Hmmppp!) I don't know if those gestures I showed you sent you the signals or if it was able to reveal even simple signs to you (exagge noh? Kahit na!).

"When you try to look into my eyes, I don't want that moment to end for I want to cherish it forever..."

Ika nga ni kumpareng Christian Bautista:

No one ever saw me like you do.
All the things that I could add up to.
I never know just what a smile was worth
But YOUR EYES see everything
Without a single word

"Coz there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothin' in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me...

"Yang mga tingin mong yan... nakaka-irita na nakaka-kilig..."

It's weird when I always want you to look at me that way forever and I'll tell you "wag mo nga akong tinitingnan ng ganyan"sor (but how super duper kilig naman I am...) There are times when you're so irritating and you'll reach for me and say "sorry na po..." and I'll tell you "wag mo nga akong hahawakan!" (hmmp, eh if I know, gusto ko naman yun! How stupid nga naman can I be di ba?)

Sometimes when people fall in love, they tend to act so stupid. But that stupidity is just one of the signs that we really are in love. Stupid or not, "I know how I feel for you..."

 I never had the intention of writing this article. It's not even because I do not want to cram when my deadline is nearly approaching, or to just come up with a good article for the coming issue of Upgrade. Every word in this article came straight from my heart and I never had any hesitations in writing each and every word of it, and I never will.

I value friendship more than all my friends think I do. Writing about how I feel through this article, may result in any of these two things: I may lose YOU... or I may have YOU... Forever... Forever... Forever...

Am I really ready for the circumstances? I don't know. For me, letting the person know how you feel towards him is really important. We may never know what could happen di ba? and no one could even know the ending of this ka-kilig-kilig story of mine...

Some say that this world is a battlefield. You must know how to survive or else, you'll lose it all. It's the same thing with falling in love. we love because it's in our nature. Sabi nga nila "fight for what you really feel", but once you did fight for it we must not expect for things to come our way.

I don't know if I could ever cross the boundaries of friendship and love (once more) and it's for me to decide. Will I ever set my feelings on the line? Are you really worth the pages of this article? Am I ready to fall so fast and fall so hard? But knowing in the end, I may fell flat on the ground, still, my answer will be a resounding YES.

I am very sure that you will read all of the words incorporated here as it all came from my mind and heart (sa UPGRADE pa, sosyal ito! Ibang level!). I guess this is the only way for me to let you know. I know that I am not perfect and will never be. I don't know how you would react, either you smile or be shocked (hoy! OA na pag sumigaw ka pa ha! Hehehe!). People around us - friends, professors, classmates or ka-MITc natin will surely react and voice-out opinions. PAKIALAM KO NAMAN, MAHAL KITA eh!!!

And the best thing about you? "YOU bring out the best in ME..."

When I'm with you, I feel like there's nothing that I can do. It feels like i can conquer the whole world. Para na nga akong si CISCO Woman eh. I was never greater in CISCO 01 class until recently (nakita mo naman ang grades ko noh, tumataginting na 1.25. Magkatabi kasi tayo dun sa room na yun eh). Whenever I'm into something that I think is a bit impossible for me to overcome, I know you're always there for me to hold on to (oh, kinilig ka naman). Sabi mo nga "Kaya natin yan!"

Siguro hangga't hindi pa napa-publish itong Upgrade, I'll just cherish the moments I've been with you. For now kasi, I can have you every time I want to (uto-uto ka kasi... biro lang). Sana ganyan ka nalang palagi noh? But we both know that things do change. Nothing stays the same. If the time comes that you have decided to change, I am sure that it will be very hard for me. I may never show you how those changes would hurt me but I want you to remember that deep inside, I am hurting...

If goodbye will be the result for my undeniable revelation, so be it... "I would rather lose someone who was never really mine right from the start, than to have you but not have you at all..."

Sigurado ako by now alam mo na... Makakatingin pa kaya ako sa'yo, sa maga mata mo, tulad ng dati? SANA...

Kahit saan pa tayo makarating, nandito lang ako palagi para sayo. You may never realize, that right from the start, I have always been here for you... Kasi nga Mahal Kita...

Whatever your decisions may be, right after reading this article, i will accept it because that's just the way it is. But I want you to keep this simple message in your mind and in your heart:

"Even if I feel this way for you, it will never change the fact that we are friends and our friendship is stronger THAN, we both think it is..."

Please hold on...


22nd of April 2005 18:35:15


= = = =

To Dan,

Hahaha! We are still friends now. Not that close like we were before, but still we're friends... =) reading through this made me laugh! Hahaha!

I pray you find that one love you deserve. Stay happy! =)

-Kring

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Papa's Day Pa! ♥

Dear Pa,

Thank you for everything that you have done for us... for the Love, the Care, the Understanding and your Sacrifices... I may not be the best or the most perfect daughter, but still I will Love You, Mama and Kuya to Infinity and Beyond! =D


Love You Pa! ♥

Happy Dad's Day to My Bestfriends Dads. Bes and Panget. Your fathers have raised and guided you well that you can now share with me the lessons you have learned from them. =)

To Edil's and Kuya Ric's Dads! Happy Dad's Day to them! =D

D, Happy Dad's day to your Dad. =) I know... words will never be enough but I will stand by your side forever, 'til the dark clouds fade away. Thank You for All the Things I have Learned from You. =)

Jan, Happy Papa's Day kay Papa mo. =) Hugs! and to Lan, Happy Papa's Day kay Papa mo. =)

To All My Families (Titos, Cousins) and Friends who are Great Dads! Happy Dad's Day. Thank you for everything. =) ♥

Get Well Soon to My Loves Tso Oscar! =) ♥ and to My Tatay Tso Cesar! *tay, pengeng pera?* ♥ and to my Tito's who are now in Heaven, I will send you all my ♥. =D


Love,
Cil =)


Saturday, June 18, 2011

Every Little Thing

♫ I Wish I Could Be, Every Little Thing You Wanted... All the Time... I Wish I Could Be, Every Little Thing You Wanted... and Every Little Thing You Wanted, All the Time... This Time... ♫

I heart this song by Dishwalla.

A gloomy Saturday morning for me. Anyway, it's okay.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I Feel Helpless

My Heart Breaks into Nano Pieces Everytime I See You Sad and it Hurts Me even More when there's Nothing I Can Do About it but Smile, for You not to Feel the Heavy Burden...

-Sana Math, Building Construction Design, Cisco Networking or Programming nalang ang Palagi Mo Pino-problema...

Because most probably, I can do something about it...

*feels a little crappy again*

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Yesterday by: Leona Lewis

I heard this song on my Kuya's iPod and I Love it! =)

Yesterday

Still waiting for morning to come
Wanna see if the sun will rise even without you by my side
When we have so much in store tell me what is it I'm reaching for
When we're through building memories I'll hold yesterday in my heart
In my heart

Chorus:
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made
They can take the music that we never played
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday

You always used to say I should be thankful for every day
Heaven knows what the future holds or at least how the story goes
(But I never believed them till now)
I know I'll see you again I'm sure no it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face but they can't take yesterday

[Repeat Chorus]

I thought our days would last forever
(But it wasn't our destiny)
'Cause in my mind we had so much time
But I was so wrong
Now I can believe that I can still find the strength in the moments we made
I'm looking back on yesterday

[Repeat Chorus]

All the broken dreams take everything
But they can never have yesterday



====

Enjoy! =)