Respect???

I know people would always say: "Never write when you're mad or when you feel angry... or Never write from anger..." well , this time I don't care about that, I feel so much pain and hatred...

I know I am not a good person but I am also not a bad one. I am somewhere in between... I always feel sad about seeing people who are less fortunate and I know, I need to do something to help those people in my own little way... However, I get really pissed off when someone tells me I don't have respect and that I am a really bad person, when someone tells me things that I don't even know I did or things that hurt the people I care about. I become this person I don't know I am when, I know that the person I care most about feel pain and when they get hurt by someone who thinks he/she is above others...

D**N them people!!!

I don't care if people think I don't have any chance at all in making my dreams come true because I am some kind of Epileptic! People judging me for who I am, for the things I can and cannot do and mostly, people judging me because of the faults I made in life...

I am doing the best I can to be someone I wanted to be... To reach for those dreams that I have lost when My Life fell apart... I know I am still far from reaching for my stars but I will never give up even though sometimes I would tell I want to just let go of those dreams...

Someone told me I have no respect... But maybe that is because we have different views about the true meaning of Respect.

Respect for me is when I am doing my promise to take care of my Mom. Respect is when I don't say anything against the people who have hurt me... Respect is when you ask for forgiveness when you know that what you did was wrong... Respect is when I don't say anything even though I feel so much pain. Respect is when you don't leave the side of the people who need you the most. Respect is when you take the hand of your bestfriend and tell her/him that everything is gonna be A okay. Respect is when you catch the people you love before they even hit the ground...

I am doing my best of what and how I can to be a respectful person and learn from all my mistakes and I did... I am never gonna be a perfect person and I never wanted to be one...

When you are Perfect, You won't need Anyone else to Fill Up the Empty Spaces in Your Life...

I know I have said some hurtful things just now but that is because all the pain inside me and all the questions have been all wanting to just get some freedom from being kept inside my heart...

I have learned my lesson very well to never trust my heart again... My heart can be very persuasive, very clever and careless... I now trust myself and see to it that I will never make the same mistakes again...

Right now, I just want to fly to the moon and be back when all the pain bursting inside me have calmed down...

I have been very brave about facing uncertainties in my life and I have been doing just fine on making ways for me to get by... I just don't like it when people keep on judging me for who I am. They don't know me and they don't know how I feel...

For me, NO ONE has the right to judge anyone on this planet, whether what they did is right or wrong... Only God has the right to do that and even when God has all the power to judge us, He never did... and that should make us see and realize that we don't have the single right to say things about people, but just live our lives the way we should and wanted without hurting other people...

RESPECT is something that we should all earn... and make sure We all deserve that Respect...

Safe Tanning

Traditional Sun Tanning can be very harmful for your skin and for your health. Staying for long hours under the sun can give you skin infection, allergies and even cancer. Most people would probably wondering on how they can have that golden bronze tan this summer, safe tanning is now the best option that you can choose.

There are safe tanning lotion, cream and gels that you can use, it's very easy and convenient since you can use it in the comfort of your own home and you won't have to pay for the very expensive tanning salons.

You can also easily purchase these safe tanning products over the net and visiting these sites will give you information that you need to have that perfect tan without sacrificing your health.

Self Tanning Products
Air Brush Tanning Info
Fake Tanning Info

You should not deprive yourself in enjoying the summer and being confident about meeting new people and mingling with them. Safe tanning is the best solution for your tanning problems.

Untitled...

I don't know how to entitle this post so I just literally jot down "Untitled". It's 08:30am here in my clock, I am so exhausted from work, I've been up all night working.

I played volleyball with my niece for an hour and ate breakfast and took an early bath. I should be sleeping now but here I am, blogging. I was supposed to go with my niece and buy foods and stuff at the grocery but she'll go ahead with her ate. I'm so tired but I can't sleep.

I should be up an hour after 12nn but I guess it'll be more late than that. I want to sleep but I'm still having a hard time letting myself go to bed. I have loads or work and I mean loads of work!!! but I know I can still put up a good fight for this week.

I feel like I'll be having a fever (please not) and my hands and back ache like it never did before... *tsk*

I hope to sleep dreamless and that I won't wake up every 20 minutes or so... Just a soundless sleep and that I'll be able to have a good rest.

I'll head to bed now... Until later.

Starlight Tears (Boys Over Flower Theme)

I saw the English translation of the Song: Starlight Tears that is from the Boys Over Flower soundtrack over the net.

I love the song and I love the lyrics too, just sharing it because it's very nice to share. =)

"Starlight Tears"

the white starlight envelops the tears
the tears fall in the warm wind
do you feel it?
this trembling, quiet whisper that is going your way

i draw you on this white paper
the warm smile holds me
is this love?
even when i close my eyes, i see only you

i will be waiting for you
i will wait for you
i don't want to see the tears of pain anymore
you let me know
this love that's like a lie, i'll never let it go
because that love is you

i'm walking in my memories with you
the tears fill even the deepest area of my heart
what should i do?
even in my dreams, i miss you

i will be waiting for you
i will wait for you
i don't want to see the tears of pain anymore
you let me know
this love that's like a lie, i'll never let it go
because that love is you

please look at me, like the faraway stars
can't you be the one that's in my heart


It's has a good piano intro too. =)

My Lotion Addiction =D

Yes, I have a lotion addiction if that's how you should call it. I keep on purchasing lotions even if I have huge bottles/containers that I haven't emptied.

I love to see lotions around me and I don't know why. I have these huge containers of Nivea, Nivea Cream, Johnson's Baby Milk Lotion, Victoria Secret, Bath and Body Works and Yogurt Body Lotions in different flavored Scent.

I got the chance to count my lotion collection just last night and I was a bit shock to have counted 28 Lotions all in all, scented oils not included, Body Wash and Colognes too.

I don't know, I keep on buying them even if I know that I don't have to... But I do finish down like a bottle in one week, so I guess it's okay right? =)

I mean, it's an essential at least for most women around.

Oh and Soaps too! I love them scented Dove, Olay and Baby Soaps. It sometimes makes me laugh inside on how I have gotten into having 28 lotions and the small on-the-go bottles not included. =)

Well, I think I deserve to purchase what I want and what I feel I want right? I do really tough work so I need some stress reliever too. =)

I was thinking, I should buy some foot lotion starting later 'coz it's payday for me. =) Oh I love Paydays! =)

oDesk you really are my number one! =) but of course my boss's too. =)

I will wake my niece up and we'll play some volleyball, it's our every other day routine for this summer. Fun! =)

Sleepless...

I can't sleep and I really want to. I am not feeling very well and I do mean literally feeling sick. I don't want to go and consult my doctor because last time I did, I didn't like the outcome.↲I am now again having these unwanted things in my mind. I really don't want to think about anything right now. I am so exhausted.↲i'm confused about so much...↲Tired...

Books...

I bought about 8 books since late last year and I only finished one. Yes, you read right, just one book.

I love books, I love reading novels and stories, it gives me more idea about how to write and gives me different views about life. Some people say that reading books will not teach you different things about life and it'll only make you bookish. However, for me books are like maps, they teach you the right way when you get a little lost.

Well, maybe because some of those people don't like to read and makes them say such a thing.

The latest books I bought were titled: "Dear John" by: Nicholas Sparks, its was made into a movie which I prefer to read first because books explains the characters feelings and I have a huge and strong imagination. Second book is titled: " Love the One You're With" by: Emily Giffin, I was captured by this book's title so I bought it. I would really love to read my books and not just stack them in my little table of books. I would love to spend a day with each book and be happy about reading it.

I cannot keep myself away from bookstores that often call my name and tell me things like: "we have a new book by your favorite author or don't you love the smell of new books on the racks?" yeah, I am addicted to books but I just don't buy them to make me feel good, I buy them to read and make me feel good. There's a difference between the two. =)

Work is really occupying most of my time now, but a little time for my books won't hurt right? *urgh* tell that to my workaholic self... yes, I am a certified workaholic, I just finished working on some web content writing and it's almost 5am here, I feel bad because my family is sleeping sweetly when here I am just finished work...

I am still thankful though, working is like my own personal brand of heroin (though I never had the intention of using one). =)

My dad is going to be home this week. I'm not walking on the same pace with him this past few months, maybe its because I am such a bad daughter or maybe he just can't really understand me or the other way around. At least I'm not denying I've been a little pain on my dad's behind... I used to be a papa's girl and I turned out to be a mama's girl now. hahaha. =) I love my parents and my older brother who acts younger than I am... kiddin'

I pray for a good health and no sleepy head moments for me for this week's work. I have a new job and a potential new one, I hope so... Well, I love my oDesk Life and I'm going to work hard as everybody does. =)

But for now, I'm going to sleep and I'm sure it'll be long hours of sleep for me, I need to make up for some sleepless nights from the past few days and health is also important. =)

Cecille here now blogging off... =)

My oDesk Life

I've been doing some home based job for almost a year now as a Writer, SEO Consultant, Link Builder, Blogger and a Web Content Writer.

I have always dreamed of becoming a writer. I've been writing in our college newspaper before and even become an editor. I am very passionate about writing and I love what I do. Some say its a God given talent and I am always thankful for having these words in my head that never seem to fade.

I've been a freelance provider in oDesk and I would have to say that it is really very convenient for me since I cannot really do office work away from home, due to my medical condition. I have been through some moments where I was denied a job because I have Epilepsy. It saddens me still to be not able to work away from the comfort and safety of my home but my home based job is something that I really treasure and it gives me the courage to Keep on Moving Forward...

There are buyers that can be a little pain in the butt, but there are those who are really very nice and can be trusted. Good buyers makes me want to work harder and be one of the many good freelance providers around the net.

This is my job and I love it. This is something that I will keep on holding to until I have more courage to fulfill some of my dreams that have been washed away by the storm and the trials I've been through.

I have really change for the past few years and I know that I will never be the same person as I was before. I think and feel that the changes made were something I never imagined I will ever go through... People would often tell me that I have changed and I never denied it.

I have changed my priorities and I am doing things on my own. I still appreciate advice from family and friends but as I have said, I have changed...

I can say that I am not a totally good person and neither I am bad... Maybe I'm one of those who are in between.