Selfish... Insensitive... Childish...

The title says all about me. Yes, I won't deny the fact that I am selfish, insensitive and very childish. I am always the kid who have difficult time understanding things and people, but maybe that is because they don't understand me too...

There are only a few people who give their best to understand me. Just 3 people. I thank God for letting them be a part of my life and vice versa.

I know why sometimes I act like someone who is indifferent... weirdo... freak... because that is how people see me.

I'm tired of some things. I really am.

Acting brave when I feel so weak and down, for them not to judge me or tell me I am too coward and too emotional. I am tired of being the best when actually, the things I do doesn't even matter. Most of the times, they just tend to see my faults and flaws, it makes me feel like hell.

I am a person who will never be perfect and no matter how nth times I tried to be the best of who I can be, it'll never be enough...

I have learned how to live my life alone and I think I handled it better than my life now. I want save some love and care for myself when no one seems to do so. I have been giving my very best efforts and been giving almost everything... and still, it doesn't matter...

I'll start living my life the way I did like almost a year ago... I can go back to living that way... I know I can...

I need to love myself because no one else will do that for me...


-C