On Soul Searching

From days to weeks, then weeks to months.

It’s been more than seven months since I finished my AB (BA) Journalism degree; I would have to say that at first, I thought that battling daily fights to accomplish requirements at J School for this degree would be the most difficult part, however, I was mistaken, completely.

I’ve been trying my best to land a position as a writer, but to no success, I’m still here, searching.
The past few months have been humbling, these months have made me stronger for accepting that some things I would like to have may not be for me, or probably I am just in the wrong place and time.

I have felt rejected in the past, I know how it is to fail (and to never give up, ever). Apparently, these rejections are quite different; I most of the times feel like I am not good enough and sometimes, I simply am not good at what I do.

If things are not going to get better, I may have to find the means to achieve my dreams far away from home. Most Filipinos are known to work overseas and I’m seeing myself to be one of them, really soon.

Time is running fast, at least for me; this is how it feels for the past weeks of contemplating about life. I need this journey, the next chapter that I will be writing. I feel lost and at the same time, it feels like being lost is leading me to something better.

Defeat may think it finally won over me, I may seem like an ordinary warrior, but there’s more to me than meets the eye. I’ve been through so much difficulties that these too shall pass.

I have gained something from all these failure, I am not the sort of person to just easily give up, I’ve come this far, too far to just fall back. I know how to choose battles now, and this one is worth the pain and scars.

A brighter day is yet to come.