Yes, just like everyone else who's always been Michael Jackson's fan, I do miss him and he will forever stay in my heart.
Just wanted to share my story on how I get to know the Man from his music, his moves and his kind heart that he have shared with the world.
It was way back mid 90's, I think it was August of 1994 that I first watched a movie about his family, it was titled: "Jacksons The American Dream", I think that movie was aired on ABC 5 that year and that was the first time I get to admire a person who's passion for music is just amazing. I got to know about how he see things and how he felt about things, that even in a mouse that he found a friend.
I was in 5th grade that year and I was so moved by Michael Jackson that I started to listen to his songs and watch his videos. I even get to watch news about him.
I was only 10 that time and I don't really care about what the media has been buzzing about him. For me, I found solace and happiness when I get to listen into his songs. Even in school, I sometimes argue with my fellow students when they say not so nice things about him.
I get to see the person behind Michael Jackson "the entertainer", I admired him for his love of children and the world itself, how he sees the goodness in almost everyone. He helped so many children around the world and that made me give him respect because I was still a kid back then and being a kid didn't stop me from giving him respect.
December of 1996 was one of the most amazing night of my life. I have waited for years to actually see Michael and hear his voice floating in the air. I was able to watch him dance from a far and hear his voice like he's beside me. At least I get the chance to scream out: "I Love You Michael!" and I don't care if did hear me say those words. I was happy that I get to be a part of his HIStory.
As years passed, I have always been a fan. A loyal fan. Every time I get to hear people talking bad and hurtful things about him I get really upset even if I don't show it. From all the molestation cases to the very hurtful accusations...
As a fan all I can really do is to wish and pray that Michael will some day found that peace and happiness that he deserves.
I was actually hoping to be a part of his maybe last tour but I guess it will never happen no more. It saddens me that he wasn't able to spend more years with his kids and watch them grow into persons that he will always be proud of. I felt sad for his kids that they have lost their father and will not be able to spend happy times with him.
I just wish that people would just stop talking about him and finally give him peace that he, like everyone else deserves.
I know that this post is a little late and this is some sort of my tribute for his birthday and sorry if I posted a little late.
I pray that Michael will find and feel the peace and happiness he never felt in this planet. For him to be able to smile and not hide any pain and sufferings. I pray for his children too and his family.
Michael Jackson will forever be in my heart. I have learn to love music and appreciate every notes and every words because of him.
A late Happy Birthday Michael.
KringKring
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Beneath Me...
beneath me
as i sit in the darkness
with unseen monsters within my life
i waited...
i cried...
i die...
death is within my reach...
i tresspass the shadows of nothingness...
every second i die...
in these troubled times,
i was alone...
no one can hear my agonies...
no one was there...
only loneliness and pain...
my life was an abstract painting of rainbow
but underneath it,
blackness i found...
as i cry tonight, demons of pain tormenting me...
i was never numb...
pain strike like an arrow within my heart...
everyday goes by and i pretended...
i smiled...
no one can see
the tears flooding me...
i drowned tonight...
if you're alone, just like me
you would know...
i was never me...
now is the time...
i knew this would come...
this time, it's for me
TO BE FREE...
-kring
as i sit in the darkness
with unseen monsters within my life
i waited...
i cried...
i die...
death is within my reach...
i tresspass the shadows of nothingness...
every second i die...
in these troubled times,
i was alone...
no one can hear my agonies...
no one was there...
only loneliness and pain...
my life was an abstract painting of rainbow
but underneath it,
blackness i found...
as i cry tonight, demons of pain tormenting me...
i was never numb...
pain strike like an arrow within my heart...
everyday goes by and i pretended...
i smiled...
no one can see
the tears flooding me...
i drowned tonight...
if you're alone, just like me
you would know...
i was never me...
now is the time...
i knew this would come...
this time, it's for me
TO BE FREE...
-kring
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Memori Rekol 101: Mapua Entrans Eksam
Alas nuwebe yata ng umaga ang eksam ko noon sa Mapua (ang pangarap kong iskul). Lumuwas na kami ng mama ko sa Makati, isang araw bago pa ang eksam, kung bakit ba naman ang aga ko gumising e medyo na huli pa din ako ng konti, minuto lang naman pero nakaupo na sa mga asaynd sits ang mga kasama ko. Ang naaalala ko pa yatang nirekwest kong umagahan ay pritong itlog at ketsap, na madalas kasabihan ng mga tanderkats (aka. mga oldis) e itlog din daw ang magiging iskor kapag may eksam. Basta, Masaya na ako sa pritong itlog noon.
Nakapag eksam na ako sa UP at UST noon, hindi naman ako masyadong kinabahan, pero syempre, mahirap ang mga tanong… kung bakit ba naman nung sa Mapua na, ay nuknukan naman ang kaba na nararamdaman ko, siguro kasi ayoko talaga bumagsak sa eksam nun… dahil talagang gusto ko mag aral sa Mapua. Pag hindi sa Mapua, wag na. hahaha.
Habang nag eeksam, lahat yata ng isinagot ko ay may kasamang dasal, hindi ko nga alam kung nahirapan ako sa eksam o nahirapan ako dahil sa kaba, nasagutan ko naman lahat, may mga siguradong tama at siguradong mali. Hahaha. Pag labas ko sa eksamineysyon rum (na naging laybrari na nung pasukan), ang itinanong sa akin ng mama ko: “Ano cil? Okay lang ba?” ito ang isinagot ko: “Ayos lang…” na inabot pa yata ng ilang segundo bago ako makasagot. Naku naman… sa totoo lang naman po, nung nakaraang dalawang eksam ko, ang isinagot ko ay: “Oo naman.” Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ganun ang pakiramdam ko…
Lumipas ang mga linggo, hindi ko iniintay ang resulta ng eksam, ayoko malaman ang resulta, lalo na kung bagsak ako… at habang nasa klase ako, sa Pilipino sabjek nung portyir hayskul, naka tanggap ako ng teks meseydg galing sa kuya ko, tandang tanda ko pa, ito ang pagkakasabi nya: “psado ka mpua, ce” Naku!!! Gusto ko tumalon sa malaking bintana ng klasrum namin sa sekond plor ng hayskul kwadrangel. Hahaha. Isa na siguro yun sa masayang memoris ko noon. Simple tsaka mababaw kung titignan, pero masaya naman. Ewan ko ba, ganun lang talaga ako, mga simpleng pangarap ko.
Sabi nila masaya ang haysul layp, oo masaya din naman ako, pero talaga sigurong kakaiba ako, mas iniintay ko ang kaleydg. Wirdo nga daw ako sabi ng mga kaibigan ko e. Hahaha.
Ang entrans eksam ko nga naman noon.
Madami akong Mapua memoris, masaklap at masaya. Mga kaibigan. Mga sabjek na inaayawan at sabjek na kinagigiliwan. Mga propesor na okey pa sa olrayt at mga propesor na kung pwede lang mamatay nalang kesa ang pumasok sa sabjek nya, ay mas pipiliin ko pa ang mamatay. Hahaha. Mga pagtambay-tambay sa holweys at payr eksit ng bawat bildings. Ang napakasikat na kantin dahil sa aroma na dulot nito. Hahaha. Madami nga talaga.
Maiba-blag ko din ang mga yun. Mas okey kasi kapag bukod bukod ang pagka blag. Hahaha.
Ito ang alaala ng isang entrans eksam na hindi ko makakalimutan.
Nakapag eksam na ako sa UP at UST noon, hindi naman ako masyadong kinabahan, pero syempre, mahirap ang mga tanong… kung bakit ba naman nung sa Mapua na, ay nuknukan naman ang kaba na nararamdaman ko, siguro kasi ayoko talaga bumagsak sa eksam nun… dahil talagang gusto ko mag aral sa Mapua. Pag hindi sa Mapua, wag na. hahaha.
Habang nag eeksam, lahat yata ng isinagot ko ay may kasamang dasal, hindi ko nga alam kung nahirapan ako sa eksam o nahirapan ako dahil sa kaba, nasagutan ko naman lahat, may mga siguradong tama at siguradong mali. Hahaha. Pag labas ko sa eksamineysyon rum (na naging laybrari na nung pasukan), ang itinanong sa akin ng mama ko: “Ano cil? Okay lang ba?” ito ang isinagot ko: “Ayos lang…” na inabot pa yata ng ilang segundo bago ako makasagot. Naku naman… sa totoo lang naman po, nung nakaraang dalawang eksam ko, ang isinagot ko ay: “Oo naman.” Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ganun ang pakiramdam ko…
Lumipas ang mga linggo, hindi ko iniintay ang resulta ng eksam, ayoko malaman ang resulta, lalo na kung bagsak ako… at habang nasa klase ako, sa Pilipino sabjek nung portyir hayskul, naka tanggap ako ng teks meseydg galing sa kuya ko, tandang tanda ko pa, ito ang pagkakasabi nya: “psado ka mpua, ce” Naku!!! Gusto ko tumalon sa malaking bintana ng klasrum namin sa sekond plor ng hayskul kwadrangel. Hahaha. Isa na siguro yun sa masayang memoris ko noon. Simple tsaka mababaw kung titignan, pero masaya naman. Ewan ko ba, ganun lang talaga ako, mga simpleng pangarap ko.
Sabi nila masaya ang haysul layp, oo masaya din naman ako, pero talaga sigurong kakaiba ako, mas iniintay ko ang kaleydg. Wirdo nga daw ako sabi ng mga kaibigan ko e. Hahaha.
Ang entrans eksam ko nga naman noon.
Madami akong Mapua memoris, masaklap at masaya. Mga kaibigan. Mga sabjek na inaayawan at sabjek na kinagigiliwan. Mga propesor na okey pa sa olrayt at mga propesor na kung pwede lang mamatay nalang kesa ang pumasok sa sabjek nya, ay mas pipiliin ko pa ang mamatay. Hahaha. Mga pagtambay-tambay sa holweys at payr eksit ng bawat bildings. Ang napakasikat na kantin dahil sa aroma na dulot nito. Hahaha. Madami nga talaga.
Maiba-blag ko din ang mga yun. Mas okey kasi kapag bukod bukod ang pagka blag. Hahaha.
Ito ang alaala ng isang entrans eksam na hindi ko makakalimutan.
Eto Nanaman ako… “Tsayldhud Memoris Part Wan”
Ala una na, pasado ala una na sa orasan ng laptap ko na, pangalawang beses ko nang binuksan dahil sa iisa nanamang dahilan, “HINDI AKO MAKATULOG”.
Hay naku, ito nanaman ang isa sa libo-libong gabing puyat ako.
Kanina, sa dahilang ayoko mag blag, kinuha ko ang isa nanaman sa mga libro ko, meron kasi akong tatlong libro na matagal ko nang nabili at ngayon ay hindi ko pa natatapos basahin. Ngayon lang nangyari to sa buong buhay ko. Madalas kasi, pag may binili akong libro, binabasa ko na kagad at hindi ko tatantanan hanggang hindi ko natatapos.
Ang una kong binili sa tatlong yun ay yung sa paborito kong tagasulat na si Paulo Coelho, ang pamagat ay “The Witch of Portobello”, ang sumunod ay isinulat nya din, “The Devil and Miss Prym” ang pangatlo ay yung kay Sophie Kinsella na “The Undomestic Goddess”. Tuwing nasa wanport na ako ng mga libro, itinigitil ko na ang pagbabasa… Para lang talaga akong tanga.
Kaya kanina, kinuha ko yung The Devil and Miss Prym, kasi ngayong magdamag sana ay tatapusin ko na, pero naisipan ko mag blag, ewan ko ba at gusto kong gawing tagalog naman ang mga blag ko (walang pakialaman, dahil mahina daw ako sa Pilipino sabjek dati, kaya ito magtatagalog ako hanggang gusto ko.)
Naiinis kasi ako, ay hindi, galit ako. Basta galit ako. Piryud.
Para lang kasi talaga akong tanga… Una ko narinig ang ekspresyon na yun sa kuya ko. Natuwa ako, kaya madalas ko na din gamitin. Madalas ngang ekspresyon ko ngayon: “Ang bobo mo talaga sa ro por…” naku, piling ko naman ang talino ko. Pero iniisip ko nga minsan, napaupo kaya ako sa las ro dati? Kasi dun sa pinasukan kong paaralan dati, kung hindi sa apelyido ay sa hayt ang pinagbabasihan ng pwesto ng uupuan mo.
Naalala ko tuloy nung nag kinder wan ako sa SIC noon, lagi kasi ako binibilin ng mama ko sa kuya ko na titignan nya ako palagi sa klasrum namin, greyd tu na ang kuya ko noon, nung minsan hindi nya ako nakita habang nagkaklase kami, nag alala sya, kaya tinignan nya ako sa labas ng iskul namin, ang tawag namin dun ay patyo, at ayun, sa loob ng serbis namin ay naglalambitin ako na parang unggoy, at nung pinuntahan nya ako, ang sabi ko daw e: “Ayoko pumasok, baka iwanan ako ng serbis natin…” yun ang unang araw na nag kat klas ako, batang-bata di ba?. Pasaway talaga ako, dahil inulit ko pa yun, nung minsan, nagalit na ang mama ko, kaya nag tray sya na ihatid ako sa iskul, nahirapan silang papasukin ako sa iskul nun, iyak ako ng iyak, hanggang sa hinatak na ako ng titser kong si Misis Suarez sa loob ng iskul, binitbit nya ako ng isang kamay lang, kaya ayun nagkaron ako ng pilay simula noon. Ang totoo kasi nun, natatakot ako, hindi sa titser ko o sa mga kaklase ko, dahil mababait naman silang lahat, eksep nalang syempre dun sa ibang masarap suntukin ng dalawa, tamang takot lang ako, ikaw ba naman ang siks yirs old lang at mag byahe ng portin kilamiters papunta at portin kilamiters pabalik. Pero simula nung nangyari yun, ayos na ako, hindi na ako nagka-kat ng klase.
Bigla ko lang naman naalala ang kabataan ko. Ang payat ko pa noon, kulot ang buhok na parang kord ng telepono, maitim (pero sabi nila blak byuti daw ako, hindi yung kabayo ha). Malaki na talaga ng tsik bowns ko, tsaka isnabera talaga ako, naalala ko pa, may mga hayskul istudents na nagsabi: “waw! Ang kyut mo naman , atsaka yung buhok mo” tas ang ginawa ko, tumakbo ako at inisnab ko sila. Kapal talaga ng pagmumukha ko.
Masaya noon, lalo na pag praydey, kasi PE daw yun, pero ang totoo nyan, puro lang kami laro. Hahaha. Kaya masaya talaga, naka tisyert at syorts lang kami, lagi ako naka pingk noon, pati yung tsak taylors ko na haykat kulay pingk din. Buong umaga kaming naglalaro kaya masaya.
Hindi nga pala ako nag kinder wan noon, kasi pasado naman daw ang aykyu ko para sa kinder tu, akalain nyo nga naman, mataas din pala ang aykyu ko. Hahaha. Ang totoo din nyan, ang mama ko ang nagturo sa akin mag sulat at mag basa ng tagalog at inglis, greyd wan ako nung hindi ako pinatulog ng mama ko hanggang hindi ko kayang basahin yung isang istorya sa libro namin dati, maganda naman ang naidulot nun. Ayos lang din.
Wala ako maisip na memoris ko nung greyd wan, ang naalala ko lang talaga ay lahat ng nowtbuks ko, kulay pink ang kober. Hehehe. Barbi syus, barbi na baunan, barbi na bag, barbi na pensil keys at barbi na pensil at ereyser! Puro barbi. Hanggang nag greyd tu yata ako, puro barbi pa din. Ako si barbi gerl. Hahaha.
May aydiya na ako tungkol sa iba-blag ko sa mga susunod na araw, yung mga memoris ko nung bata pa ako. Hahaha. Wag kayo mag alala, wala akong imaginari prends noon. Hahaha. Pwede din namang mga memoris ko nung kaleyds pa ako. Mas nakakatawa yun.
Minsan nagtataka ako, madami pa din kasi ako naaalala nung bata pa ako, pero ngayon, halos wala na… syempre, kalokohan naman pag sinabi kong walang wala na di ba? Meron pa din, pero pinilit yata ng utak ko idelit e. Tsaka medyo malala na ang memori laps ko ngayon. Ulyanin na ako, hahaha. Siguro kaya madami ako naaalala dati, kasi masaya ako noon… ganun na nga siguro.
Hindi pa din ako inaantok, pagka powst ko nito, hindi ko pa alam ang gagawin ko, bahala na si batman, pero gusto ko si superman, kaya bahala na si superman, pwede din namang bahala na ang buong jastis lig! Hahaha. Biro lang, baka naman isipin ng iba ay napapraning na ako. Tamang wala lang ako magawa at hindi ako makatulog. Ano nga ba naman ang bago??? Sa gabi este sa madaling araw na ito…
Sana alas kwatro na ng madaling araw, kasi paniguraduhan, medyo aantukin na ako nun… lalo na kung sasabihin nanaman ng mama kong: “aba, cil matulog ka na… umaga na, bawal nga ang nagpupuyat sayo, aba naman…” hays, kung alam lang ng mama ko, kung gusto nya ako matulog, mas gusto ko lalo ang makatulog na…
ngayong umaga ko lang naipowst ang blag ko kasi kanina madaling araw, pag bukas ko ng internet eksplorer ay wala napala akong balans sa akawnt ko… kaya talagang magpapakabit na kami ng brodband, nakakainis lalo na pagmadaling araw na at nawawalan ng lowd ang wayrles koneksyon ko… wala na ako mabibilan ng lowd. Naku talaga nga naman… pasensya na sa leyt powst.
Hindi ko pa din tapos ang libro na binasa ko kanina. Nuknukan talaga ako… hays.
Hay naku, ito nanaman ang isa sa libo-libong gabing puyat ako.
Kanina, sa dahilang ayoko mag blag, kinuha ko ang isa nanaman sa mga libro ko, meron kasi akong tatlong libro na matagal ko nang nabili at ngayon ay hindi ko pa natatapos basahin. Ngayon lang nangyari to sa buong buhay ko. Madalas kasi, pag may binili akong libro, binabasa ko na kagad at hindi ko tatantanan hanggang hindi ko natatapos.
Ang una kong binili sa tatlong yun ay yung sa paborito kong tagasulat na si Paulo Coelho, ang pamagat ay “The Witch of Portobello”, ang sumunod ay isinulat nya din, “The Devil and Miss Prym” ang pangatlo ay yung kay Sophie Kinsella na “The Undomestic Goddess”. Tuwing nasa wanport na ako ng mga libro, itinigitil ko na ang pagbabasa… Para lang talaga akong tanga.
Kaya kanina, kinuha ko yung The Devil and Miss Prym, kasi ngayong magdamag sana ay tatapusin ko na, pero naisipan ko mag blag, ewan ko ba at gusto kong gawing tagalog naman ang mga blag ko (walang pakialaman, dahil mahina daw ako sa Pilipino sabjek dati, kaya ito magtatagalog ako hanggang gusto ko.)
Naiinis kasi ako, ay hindi, galit ako. Basta galit ako. Piryud.
Para lang kasi talaga akong tanga… Una ko narinig ang ekspresyon na yun sa kuya ko. Natuwa ako, kaya madalas ko na din gamitin. Madalas ngang ekspresyon ko ngayon: “Ang bobo mo talaga sa ro por…” naku, piling ko naman ang talino ko. Pero iniisip ko nga minsan, napaupo kaya ako sa las ro dati? Kasi dun sa pinasukan kong paaralan dati, kung hindi sa apelyido ay sa hayt ang pinagbabasihan ng pwesto ng uupuan mo.
Naalala ko tuloy nung nag kinder wan ako sa SIC noon, lagi kasi ako binibilin ng mama ko sa kuya ko na titignan nya ako palagi sa klasrum namin, greyd tu na ang kuya ko noon, nung minsan hindi nya ako nakita habang nagkaklase kami, nag alala sya, kaya tinignan nya ako sa labas ng iskul namin, ang tawag namin dun ay patyo, at ayun, sa loob ng serbis namin ay naglalambitin ako na parang unggoy, at nung pinuntahan nya ako, ang sabi ko daw e: “Ayoko pumasok, baka iwanan ako ng serbis natin…” yun ang unang araw na nag kat klas ako, batang-bata di ba?. Pasaway talaga ako, dahil inulit ko pa yun, nung minsan, nagalit na ang mama ko, kaya nag tray sya na ihatid ako sa iskul, nahirapan silang papasukin ako sa iskul nun, iyak ako ng iyak, hanggang sa hinatak na ako ng titser kong si Misis Suarez sa loob ng iskul, binitbit nya ako ng isang kamay lang, kaya ayun nagkaron ako ng pilay simula noon. Ang totoo kasi nun, natatakot ako, hindi sa titser ko o sa mga kaklase ko, dahil mababait naman silang lahat, eksep nalang syempre dun sa ibang masarap suntukin ng dalawa, tamang takot lang ako, ikaw ba naman ang siks yirs old lang at mag byahe ng portin kilamiters papunta at portin kilamiters pabalik. Pero simula nung nangyari yun, ayos na ako, hindi na ako nagka-kat ng klase.
Bigla ko lang naman naalala ang kabataan ko. Ang payat ko pa noon, kulot ang buhok na parang kord ng telepono, maitim (pero sabi nila blak byuti daw ako, hindi yung kabayo ha). Malaki na talaga ng tsik bowns ko, tsaka isnabera talaga ako, naalala ko pa, may mga hayskul istudents na nagsabi: “waw! Ang kyut mo naman , atsaka yung buhok mo” tas ang ginawa ko, tumakbo ako at inisnab ko sila. Kapal talaga ng pagmumukha ko.
Masaya noon, lalo na pag praydey, kasi PE daw yun, pero ang totoo nyan, puro lang kami laro. Hahaha. Kaya masaya talaga, naka tisyert at syorts lang kami, lagi ako naka pingk noon, pati yung tsak taylors ko na haykat kulay pingk din. Buong umaga kaming naglalaro kaya masaya.
Hindi nga pala ako nag kinder wan noon, kasi pasado naman daw ang aykyu ko para sa kinder tu, akalain nyo nga naman, mataas din pala ang aykyu ko. Hahaha. Ang totoo din nyan, ang mama ko ang nagturo sa akin mag sulat at mag basa ng tagalog at inglis, greyd wan ako nung hindi ako pinatulog ng mama ko hanggang hindi ko kayang basahin yung isang istorya sa libro namin dati, maganda naman ang naidulot nun. Ayos lang din.
Wala ako maisip na memoris ko nung greyd wan, ang naalala ko lang talaga ay lahat ng nowtbuks ko, kulay pink ang kober. Hehehe. Barbi syus, barbi na baunan, barbi na bag, barbi na pensil keys at barbi na pensil at ereyser! Puro barbi. Hanggang nag greyd tu yata ako, puro barbi pa din. Ako si barbi gerl. Hahaha.
May aydiya na ako tungkol sa iba-blag ko sa mga susunod na araw, yung mga memoris ko nung bata pa ako. Hahaha. Wag kayo mag alala, wala akong imaginari prends noon. Hahaha. Pwede din namang mga memoris ko nung kaleyds pa ako. Mas nakakatawa yun.
Minsan nagtataka ako, madami pa din kasi ako naaalala nung bata pa ako, pero ngayon, halos wala na… syempre, kalokohan naman pag sinabi kong walang wala na di ba? Meron pa din, pero pinilit yata ng utak ko idelit e. Tsaka medyo malala na ang memori laps ko ngayon. Ulyanin na ako, hahaha. Siguro kaya madami ako naaalala dati, kasi masaya ako noon… ganun na nga siguro.
Hindi pa din ako inaantok, pagka powst ko nito, hindi ko pa alam ang gagawin ko, bahala na si batman, pero gusto ko si superman, kaya bahala na si superman, pwede din namang bahala na ang buong jastis lig! Hahaha. Biro lang, baka naman isipin ng iba ay napapraning na ako. Tamang wala lang ako magawa at hindi ako makatulog. Ano nga ba naman ang bago??? Sa gabi este sa madaling araw na ito…
Sana alas kwatro na ng madaling araw, kasi paniguraduhan, medyo aantukin na ako nun… lalo na kung sasabihin nanaman ng mama kong: “aba, cil matulog ka na… umaga na, bawal nga ang nagpupuyat sayo, aba naman…” hays, kung alam lang ng mama ko, kung gusto nya ako matulog, mas gusto ko lalo ang makatulog na…
ngayong umaga ko lang naipowst ang blag ko kasi kanina madaling araw, pag bukas ko ng internet eksplorer ay wala napala akong balans sa akawnt ko… kaya talagang magpapakabit na kami ng brodband, nakakainis lalo na pagmadaling araw na at nawawalan ng lowd ang wayrles koneksyon ko… wala na ako mabibilan ng lowd. Naku talaga nga naman… pasensya na sa leyt powst.
Hindi ko pa din tapos ang libro na binasa ko kanina. Nuknukan talaga ako… hays.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Hindi Makatulog...
Oo. Ang hirap talaga makatulog… ilang gabi nanaman akong ganito. Nandyan ang magpabaling-baling ako sa higaan, ang magbukas-sara ng pc para mag internet, manood ng walang katapusang naruto sa dvd (episode 92 na ako, naruto shippuden) nakakabisado ko na nga ang mga lyrics ng kanta sa naruto, ang magbukas ng tv at magpalipat-lipat ng channels na sa dami ay wala ako mapiling panoodin, ang magbasa ng buong twilight na series na naka 3 beses na yatang akong nakatapos.
Napakahirap talagang matulog. Sa hndi ko malamang dahilan. Madalas alas kwatro na ng umaga ay gising na gisng pa din ang diwa ko. Ang totoo nyan, pinapangarap ko talagang makatulog bago mag alas dyes manlang sana ng gabi. Naku, gudlak sa akin.
Kaya ito, nag blog ako. matagal na din ako hindi nagpo-post ng mga blog nitong nakaraang mga linggo… tinatamad kasi ako… himala, dahil halos araw-araw yata ako kung mag blog.
Kung pwede lang lumaklak ako ng isang bote ng pampatulog, gagawin ko talaga, problema lang wala ako nun. Minsan gusto ko sabihin sa kuya kong: “kuya, suntukin mo nga ako ng isa, yung tipong tulog ako pagka suntok na pagka suntok mo ha”. Baka kasi hindi tumalab yung suntok nya, eh masuntok ko din sya ng isa, baka imbes na ako ang makatulog eh sya ang mawalan ng malay.
Madami lang din siguro akong iniisip ng mga nakaraang araw… (ay hindi pala, lagi kasi ako nag iisip simula nung nagka isip ako, ah ewan ang gulo…) nag iisip nga ako ng pwedeng e-blog, at ito ang naisip ko. Tutal pwede ko naman e-blog ang kahit na ano, wag lang ang nakakasakit ng ibang tao.
Gusto ko nga mag-blog ng aking Bucket List, new and improved. Kayalang hindi pa kumpleto kaya sa ibang araw nalang siguro. Naisip ko din ang mag-blog ng tungkol kay naruto (hahaha), siguro dahil na din sa walang kasawaang panonood ko ng mga dvd.
At bago ko nga pala makalimutan, nami-miss ko na ang mapua. hahaha. Tama, tama ang nababasa nyo, kasi mag-aaral ulit ako. sa Mapua. At hindi ako magsisisi sa mga araw, gabi, linggo at buwan na wala nanamang tulog, dahil sanay na sanay na ako. kaya Mapua, here I come!!! “We will strive for the fame and the Glory of the M and the I and the T. *wink* “Cecille, ang pagbabalik…” cecille nga ba? Mas kilala kasi akong Kring sa Mapua, katulad ng tunog ng telepono pag may tumatawag.
Makakailang post kaya ako ng blog ngayon? malaman nasa dalawa o tatlo. At kung ilan man sya, ay naka isa na ako.
Napakahirap talagang matulog. Sa hndi ko malamang dahilan. Madalas alas kwatro na ng umaga ay gising na gisng pa din ang diwa ko. Ang totoo nyan, pinapangarap ko talagang makatulog bago mag alas dyes manlang sana ng gabi. Naku, gudlak sa akin.
Kaya ito, nag blog ako. matagal na din ako hindi nagpo-post ng mga blog nitong nakaraang mga linggo… tinatamad kasi ako… himala, dahil halos araw-araw yata ako kung mag blog.
Kung pwede lang lumaklak ako ng isang bote ng pampatulog, gagawin ko talaga, problema lang wala ako nun. Minsan gusto ko sabihin sa kuya kong: “kuya, suntukin mo nga ako ng isa, yung tipong tulog ako pagka suntok na pagka suntok mo ha”. Baka kasi hindi tumalab yung suntok nya, eh masuntok ko din sya ng isa, baka imbes na ako ang makatulog eh sya ang mawalan ng malay.
Madami lang din siguro akong iniisip ng mga nakaraang araw… (ay hindi pala, lagi kasi ako nag iisip simula nung nagka isip ako, ah ewan ang gulo…) nag iisip nga ako ng pwedeng e-blog, at ito ang naisip ko. Tutal pwede ko naman e-blog ang kahit na ano, wag lang ang nakakasakit ng ibang tao.
Gusto ko nga mag-blog ng aking Bucket List, new and improved. Kayalang hindi pa kumpleto kaya sa ibang araw nalang siguro. Naisip ko din ang mag-blog ng tungkol kay naruto (hahaha), siguro dahil na din sa walang kasawaang panonood ko ng mga dvd.
At bago ko nga pala makalimutan, nami-miss ko na ang mapua. hahaha. Tama, tama ang nababasa nyo, kasi mag-aaral ulit ako. sa Mapua. At hindi ako magsisisi sa mga araw, gabi, linggo at buwan na wala nanamang tulog, dahil sanay na sanay na ako. kaya Mapua, here I come!!! “We will strive for the fame and the Glory of the M and the I and the T. *wink* “Cecille, ang pagbabalik…” cecille nga ba? Mas kilala kasi akong Kring sa Mapua, katulad ng tunog ng telepono pag may tumatawag.
Makakailang post kaya ako ng blog ngayon? malaman nasa dalawa o tatlo. At kung ilan man sya, ay naka isa na ako.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Just Another Day for Me...
Today is such a gloomy day, gray clouds hovering in the sky, blocking the sunshine from bringing warmth in my face.
I feel really sad. I know the reason for my sadness and there’s no anti-depressive meds that can take this pain away. I should have done these ancient years ago. There’s not really a goodbye between me and my friend. I can’t say goodbye, because I know I wouldn’t be able to do so… I have learned not say goodbye but instead, just leave… there’s no need for goodbye… no need for finality…
I have become so cold from the past months that went by… now, I don’t easily cry, like before… now I am so good with blocking painful things that passes my life. I think my brain shuts down automatically whenever a painful download is about to take place. Then when I’ve already forgot about that painful feeling, my brain gears up again. Now, my heart is just a part of my body that enables blood to circulate in my system, my heart doesn’t feel anything no more… not like before. My brain is now in control… because I will never be so careless to let my heart take charge of everything…
You can call me cold hearted but no one can judge me because of my faults and my weakness. No one has the right to judge anyone… just because of how they are… I’ve learned that well too… people judging me because of who I am and what I can and cannot do… I’m sick and tired of them people…
One day, when the sun strikes hardest. You will all see me shine. But never I would look down upon anyone, because if I do so, I will not be different from the people who judge like they know everything and anything in this world…
I am now in the point of no return… I don’t care if I am walking in the dark alone or if am journeying alone. I don’t care if I am weak or strong enough to get through…
So saying goodbye for me is now too easy… painful yes, but easy to bear… because I have learned on how to bear goodbyes alone… and now, I am very good with it… and can even be better…
As for the sadness, it still gives me the hard time… too bad, I still feel sadness… I guess it’s always a part who I am…
Like this days gloomy feeling… just another day of gray sky for me…
I feel really sad. I know the reason for my sadness and there’s no anti-depressive meds that can take this pain away. I should have done these ancient years ago. There’s not really a goodbye between me and my friend. I can’t say goodbye, because I know I wouldn’t be able to do so… I have learned not say goodbye but instead, just leave… there’s no need for goodbye… no need for finality…
I have become so cold from the past months that went by… now, I don’t easily cry, like before… now I am so good with blocking painful things that passes my life. I think my brain shuts down automatically whenever a painful download is about to take place. Then when I’ve already forgot about that painful feeling, my brain gears up again. Now, my heart is just a part of my body that enables blood to circulate in my system, my heart doesn’t feel anything no more… not like before. My brain is now in control… because I will never be so careless to let my heart take charge of everything…
You can call me cold hearted but no one can judge me because of my faults and my weakness. No one has the right to judge anyone… just because of how they are… I’ve learned that well too… people judging me because of who I am and what I can and cannot do… I’m sick and tired of them people…
One day, when the sun strikes hardest. You will all see me shine. But never I would look down upon anyone, because if I do so, I will not be different from the people who judge like they know everything and anything in this world…
I am now in the point of no return… I don’t care if I am walking in the dark alone or if am journeying alone. I don’t care if I am weak or strong enough to get through…
So saying goodbye for me is now too easy… painful yes, but easy to bear… because I have learned on how to bear goodbyes alone… and now, I am very good with it… and can even be better…
As for the sadness, it still gives me the hard time… too bad, I still feel sadness… I guess it’s always a part who I am…
Like this days gloomy feeling… just another day of gray sky for me…
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Manny "PACMAN" Pacquiao WIN!!!
PACMAN, won in just the 2nd round in his fight with Hatton.
CONGRATULATIONS TO MANNY and ALL THE FILIPINOS!!! :D
PROUD to be PINOY!
CONGRATULATIONS TO MANNY and ALL THE FILIPINOS!!! :D
PROUD to be PINOY!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Hoping for a Goodnight Sleep
After 4 wee morning hours of dreadful sleep, I'm hoping that I can have a peaceful and calm one this morning...
I'm so tired, I did a general cleaning of our house this morning. All the bedrooms, kitchen, living room. We don't have a huge house but it's still very exhausting. I cleaned all the fans and the aircondition filter. Change all the bed sheets and pillow cases. Dust all the furnitures and cook something for meryenda.
I slept for like 15-20 minutes yesterday afternoon but woke up because I heard my old favorite songs in the Wowowee show, sung by some vocalists of my favorite old bands in high school such as Alamid, Color it Red and Even Free Style. I actually really like their songs 'til now. Gave me the idea of downloading some of those songs and synch them into my iPod.
I was craving for an orange juice so I made one, I think its been a while since i had an orange juice. Its always iced tea, soda's, fruit shake, chocolate shake. I guess I really did missed its citrus flavor.
We are planning on cooking spring rolls and "paksiw na pata" my mama's specialty (well she actually cooks good) for lunch.
But anyway, back on the so-called hoping for a goodnight or should I say good morning sleep... I can still remember some flashes of a bad dream yesterday. I'm really praying that I won't have the same one or a dream closer to the one I had.
For some it may not seem bad enough, but for me, it's a bloody bad dream... :(( I haven't had a sleepless dreams for a very long while... I haven't even sleep well. I always feel sleepy at 2, 3 or 4 in the morning. Except when I feel sick, there would be a slight chance of a regular sleep for me.
I'm also praying for a nice start today, unlike yesterday...
A nice cold rain will make me feel better. :) and a quiet Sunday is what I'm hoping for...
A nice and blessed Sunday for me, my family, my friends and for everyone. :D
I'm so tired, I did a general cleaning of our house this morning. All the bedrooms, kitchen, living room. We don't have a huge house but it's still very exhausting. I cleaned all the fans and the aircondition filter. Change all the bed sheets and pillow cases. Dust all the furnitures and cook something for meryenda.
I slept for like 15-20 minutes yesterday afternoon but woke up because I heard my old favorite songs in the Wowowee show, sung by some vocalists of my favorite old bands in high school such as Alamid, Color it Red and Even Free Style. I actually really like their songs 'til now. Gave me the idea of downloading some of those songs and synch them into my iPod.
I was craving for an orange juice so I made one, I think its been a while since i had an orange juice. Its always iced tea, soda's, fruit shake, chocolate shake. I guess I really did missed its citrus flavor.
We are planning on cooking spring rolls and "paksiw na pata" my mama's specialty (well she actually cooks good) for lunch.
But anyway, back on the so-called hoping for a goodnight or should I say good morning sleep... I can still remember some flashes of a bad dream yesterday. I'm really praying that I won't have the same one or a dream closer to the one I had.
For some it may not seem bad enough, but for me, it's a bloody bad dream... :(( I haven't had a sleepless dreams for a very long while... I haven't even sleep well. I always feel sleepy at 2, 3 or 4 in the morning. Except when I feel sick, there would be a slight chance of a regular sleep for me.
I'm also praying for a nice start today, unlike yesterday...
A nice cold rain will make me feel better. :) and a quiet Sunday is what I'm hoping for...
A nice and blessed Sunday for me, my family, my friends and for everyone. :D
Saturday, April 18, 2009
A Hot Saturday Morning
I slept at around 2am this morning and woke at 6am... It's soooo hot and I hate it when I woke up really early.
I had a not so very nice dream... and I just want to forget about it, right away. Especially if today's gonna be hotter than the days before, it's so irritating. *grrr...*
Whats most irritating about this day???
I woke up feeling tired and bad dreams lingering in my head. (kainis!!!).
Airconditioned rooms doesn't even work, because when you got outside the room even for just 2 minutes, you'll feel way hotter...
Shower rains yesterday made it even worse. I was hoping that when it rains, it pours!!! with thunderstorms and lighting... I need rain and the cold feeling it brings... I used to not like the rain, for the reason that it makes me feel sad... and I don't even know the reason why...
Hope later this day would be better... *fingers crossed*.
I had a not so very nice dream... and I just want to forget about it, right away. Especially if today's gonna be hotter than the days before, it's so irritating. *grrr...*
Whats most irritating about this day???
I woke up feeling tired and bad dreams lingering in my head. (kainis!!!).
Airconditioned rooms doesn't even work, because when you got outside the room even for just 2 minutes, you'll feel way hotter...
Shower rains yesterday made it even worse. I was hoping that when it rains, it pours!!! with thunderstorms and lighting... I need rain and the cold feeling it brings... I used to not like the rain, for the reason that it makes me feel sad... and I don't even know the reason why...
Hope later this day would be better... *fingers crossed*.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Ted Failon's wife, Trinidad Etong died tonight at The New Era Hospital
Source: ABS-CBN NEWS BANDILA
Trinidad died tonight in the New Era Hospital.
Her Sisters and Brother was forcedly detained tonight from The New Era Hospital by the QCPD. The Police insisted on capturing the members of the family to be questioned.
Ted Failon was cleared from the paraffin test and was also released tonight.
Trinidad died without her family by her side. Their youngest daughter doesn't have a slightest idea that her mother passed away until she got in the hospital.
Their daughter Kate Etong, had an interview with Korina Sanchez and admitted that her mother committed suicide. She was telling that every member of their family were all innocent.
Trinidad's sister Pam also had an interview retelling the story of how her sister showed signs of suicidal attempt and how she killed herself... and that like her niece Kate, she stands for what she believes that every member of their family were all innocent.
The QCPD, were accusing them of Obstruction of Justice. Even the Bureau of Immigration put Ted Failon on their watchlist.
Public Attorneys Office will also be accused by the Department Of Justice if they will interfere with the said "Issue". While Atty. Persida Acosta would just want to make sure that Ted Failon and the members of the family would have a fair justice.
I pray for Trinidad's soul to rest in peace. My all sincere condolences to her family, especially her kids and her husband Ted Failon.
Trinidad died tonight in the New Era Hospital.
Her Sisters and Brother was forcedly detained tonight from The New Era Hospital by the QCPD. The Police insisted on capturing the members of the family to be questioned.
Ted Failon was cleared from the paraffin test and was also released tonight.
Trinidad died without her family by her side. Their youngest daughter doesn't have a slightest idea that her mother passed away until she got in the hospital.
Their daughter Kate Etong, had an interview with Korina Sanchez and admitted that her mother committed suicide. She was telling that every member of their family were all innocent.
Trinidad's sister Pam also had an interview retelling the story of how her sister showed signs of suicidal attempt and how she killed herself... and that like her niece Kate, she stands for what she believes that every member of their family were all innocent.
The QCPD, were accusing them of Obstruction of Justice. Even the Bureau of Immigration put Ted Failon on their watchlist.
Public Attorneys Office will also be accused by the Department Of Justice if they will interfere with the said "Issue". While Atty. Persida Acosta would just want to make sure that Ted Failon and the members of the family would have a fair justice.
I pray for Trinidad's soul to rest in peace. My all sincere condolences to her family, especially her kids and her husband Ted Failon.
A Late Post...
It's now 12:33am and we're still wide awake, here in my room.
I want to blog about a girl I know, a strong woman... Someone who fights through and through...
I can see the pain in her eyes, physically and mentally... but then, she still fights for her life, she fights to still be with her son. I've known her all my life, though we're never really close, she has always been part of it and will always be.
Awhile ago, she cannot even say a word, except for the words: "cecille, ang sakit... dito sa likod... and sakit, sa lahat..." but now, she shares some of her stories, some stories that i never knew... Now, we feel much better. I can hear laughter echoing in the four sides of my room. :)
I admire her for being so strong, so courageous, such a fighter, so strong with her faith in our creator...
I admire her family, her sister for being by her side and making her feel better. Her mommy for also being such a strong woman...
Right now, she's telling a story about her son. "One night, she ask her son to go to bed and her son, told her: mommy di pa pwede sleep, may pray pa tayo..." this is what her son ask on his prayer:"
"God, galing mommy ko ha..."
Her son only turned 3 this month, but can say prayers to make her mommy get well. That's one pure love... pure care.
This woman, My cousin, makes me wanna go on and fight for My life too... the life that I have many times lost but now, I feel much stronger and I feel calm. I never felt calm in my life... not until the last few months that passed by...
I know most of us in this world go through so many struggles, I know how hard it is to say that we can make it through all of this, how we always wanna give up...
But amongst all of this pains and even more pains... I know I will make it through... I know We can all make it through...
So let's just keep on holding through our faith and never give up... Hold on tight to Our Creator and soon We'll see the brighter side of our Lives. :D
I want to blog about a girl I know, a strong woman... Someone who fights through and through...
I can see the pain in her eyes, physically and mentally... but then, she still fights for her life, she fights to still be with her son. I've known her all my life, though we're never really close, she has always been part of it and will always be.
Awhile ago, she cannot even say a word, except for the words: "cecille, ang sakit... dito sa likod... and sakit, sa lahat..." but now, she shares some of her stories, some stories that i never knew... Now, we feel much better. I can hear laughter echoing in the four sides of my room. :)
I admire her for being so strong, so courageous, such a fighter, so strong with her faith in our creator...
I admire her family, her sister for being by her side and making her feel better. Her mommy for also being such a strong woman...
Right now, she's telling a story about her son. "One night, she ask her son to go to bed and her son, told her: mommy di pa pwede sleep, may pray pa tayo..." this is what her son ask on his prayer:"
"God, galing mommy ko ha..."
Her son only turned 3 this month, but can say prayers to make her mommy get well. That's one pure love... pure care.
This woman, My cousin, makes me wanna go on and fight for My life too... the life that I have many times lost but now, I feel much stronger and I feel calm. I never felt calm in my life... not until the last few months that passed by...
I know most of us in this world go through so many struggles, I know how hard it is to say that we can make it through all of this, how we always wanna give up...
But amongst all of this pains and even more pains... I know I will make it through... I know We can all make it through...
So let's just keep on holding through our faith and never give up... Hold on tight to Our Creator and soon We'll see the brighter side of our Lives. :D
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
One Way Out - Discovery Channel Asia
I Love watching Discovery Channel and I don't have to explain the reason why. Right? :D
There's this new show, that was first aired last April 1st, Wednesday at 09:00pm.
The show is about this guy, Jonathan Goodwin with is best mate Mikey Nelson and their engineer Terry Stroud, who tries to make an escape through a very impossible situations... well, not really impossible but very difficult sorts of situations. It's crazy and morbidly put out and I love it.:D
The show is aired every wednesday at 09:00pm, that is tonight and I can't wait to see another crazy escape from this hunky guy Jonathan. *wink*.
The name of the show speaks for itself. so if you want to see a show that is more extreme than a circus stunt and more believable than a magic trick, you should watch this show.:D
Here's a link about the show information. http://www.discoverychannel.co.uk/web/one_way_out/
Can't wait for 9pm.:D
There's this new show, that was first aired last April 1st, Wednesday at 09:00pm.
The show is about this guy, Jonathan Goodwin with is best mate Mikey Nelson and their engineer Terry Stroud, who tries to make an escape through a very impossible situations... well, not really impossible but very difficult sorts of situations. It's crazy and morbidly put out and I love it.:D
The show is aired every wednesday at 09:00pm, that is tonight and I can't wait to see another crazy escape from this hunky guy Jonathan. *wink*.
The name of the show speaks for itself. so if you want to see a show that is more extreme than a circus stunt and more believable than a magic trick, you should watch this show.:D
Here's a link about the show information. http://www.discoverychannel.co.uk/web/one_way_out/
Can't wait for 9pm.:D
Orange Sun
Yesterday's sun shine a bright orange. My niece Pauline showed me the different sun color and we decided to take picture of it.
We took the firsts shots from a basin with water, because i can't take a shot straight from the direction of the sun, it was too bright. My niece is sort of weird and really likes to look at the sun directly.
She took a shot of the orange sun. The shot shows how orange it looks. I decided to blog about it, because its weird enough for me. hehehe. :D I don't know the exact reason why it shines an orange shade yesterday but what I'm sure of, is that its soooooo hot yesterday... makes my head ache.
Here's the shot of the Orange Sun yesterday a little late in the afternoon. :)
From the Basin:
Direct Shot:
My Niece with "The Basin":
*tamang kakulitan lang. hehehe. :D
We took the firsts shots from a basin with water, because i can't take a shot straight from the direction of the sun, it was too bright. My niece is sort of weird and really likes to look at the sun directly.
She took a shot of the orange sun. The shot shows how orange it looks. I decided to blog about it, because its weird enough for me. hehehe. :D I don't know the exact reason why it shines an orange shade yesterday but what I'm sure of, is that its soooooo hot yesterday... makes my head ache.
Here's the shot of the Orange Sun yesterday a little late in the afternoon. :)
From the Basin:
Direct Shot:
My Niece with "The Basin":
*tamang kakulitan lang. hehehe. :D
Monday, April 13, 2009
Palawan, Here We Come!!! :D
We plan on going to Palawan this May and spend two weeks there. :D yehey!!! we'll stay in the Estero's Ancestral Home, with tita Cristy, its really very nice of her to accommodate us. :D thanks tita!!! :D
Ate Gladz at her dad tito Danny, well be in Palawan earlier, they'll be there on April 25th.
Then Me, Mama, ate Chy, tita Diding and my college best buddy will take our flight on May 5th next month. :D wah... I can't wait to be in Palawan!!! :D this is my first time to get to see the beauty of that place, I'm so excited. hehehe. and to spent it with the people I care, makes it more nice. :D
I'm sure it will be a blast. :D
My kuya Donald arrange our flight last Thursday night through online booking in PhilippineAirlines.com
Thanks to my kuya Donald. :D (he's actually a Flight attendant in Philippine Airlines. :D (gorgeous kasi sya) hehehe. :D
I'll post pictures and blog about our Palawan Trip. :D
Just Really excited. hahaha. :D
See you soon tita Cristy.:D
Ate Gladz at her dad tito Danny, well be in Palawan earlier, they'll be there on April 25th.
Then Me, Mama, ate Chy, tita Diding and my college best buddy will take our flight on May 5th next month. :D wah... I can't wait to be in Palawan!!! :D this is my first time to get to see the beauty of that place, I'm so excited. hehehe. and to spent it with the people I care, makes it more nice. :D
I'm sure it will be a blast. :D
My kuya Donald arrange our flight last Thursday night through online booking in PhilippineAirlines.com
Thanks to my kuya Donald. :D (he's actually a Flight attendant in Philippine Airlines. :D (gorgeous kasi sya) hehehe. :D
I'll post pictures and blog about our Palawan Trip. :D
Just Really excited. hahaha. :D
See you soon tita Cristy.:D
The Rest of My Holy Week
I Had a wonderful Holy Week, My relatives went to visit us here in the province. The Gagalang - Gracia Family was here last Holy Friday, with the kids. I miss them sooooo much... :) They're all big kids now. :) one of them "ate Ella" received an award when she graduated from kindergarten. :) (mana kay ninang cil). Maemae, my very sexy niece, got even sexier. hehehe. and their youngest Migz, can now say loads of words. :)
Then Last Holy Saturday the Benitez Family spend the rest of their Holy Week here. :) It was crazily nice to see them. :) also nice to see that my Tselen is okay after her eye operation. :) and my tita Bheng, getting sexier too. *wink* and tita Ens, Mimi. all of them and kuya Jun fixing some stuff here in our house. :D was all too nice, but too bad they just got to be here for a couple of days. But tita Ens told me they'll be back in no time for our summer swimming. :D
I wasn't able to spend most of my Holy Week doing the same things I used to do, I attended the mass last Thursday, I wasn't feeling well that time but I insisted to go anyway, from what I can remember, I saw ate Chy and told here that I felt like I was gonna have a seizure, then she decided to walk me home, I didn't make it through inside our house, I already had my seizure in our yard. They told me it was very short seizure (thank goodness), I had some bruises but it's okay.
I wanted to attend the Friday procession, because its my yearly "panata", but I decided not to and my family won't let me. It was very hot Friday and there's a 90% possibility that I may have seizure while in the procession, all I could do was take pictures when the procession passed by our street.
I felt somehow sad for not being able to spend more time with kuya Donny, ate Gladz and ate Chy. There's always some other time for us though. :D
Then we attended the anticipated Easter Sunday mass last Saturday at 09:00pm here in our Parish Church. It was a different mass for everyone of us (I guess). It all started with the lighting of the candles in the Churchyard, while Fr. Jojo was reading a verse form the bible, a ball of fire came down from the Church Bell Tower, it was very nice. (too bad I wasn't able to bring my camera...). Then the mass took 3 hours, with the seven words. Then Fr. Jojo held a baptismal (sort of) celebration for everyone.
Here's the sad part. My relatives, went back to makati yesterday... now, its Mama, Me, ate Pauls and Vinatog here in our house. Sad...
I had a blessed Holy Week. :)
Seeing My Family and Relatives was a big bunch of blessings. :D
And Thank God for this nice Holy Week. :D
Holy Week for me is a recollection of how Jesus Christ died in the cross to save us from our sins... and so we must not make the cross more heavier for him and instead help him carry it. :D
Hope everyone had a blessed Holy Week too. :)
Then Last Holy Saturday the Benitez Family spend the rest of their Holy Week here. :) It was crazily nice to see them. :) also nice to see that my Tselen is okay after her eye operation. :) and my tita Bheng, getting sexier too. *wink* and tita Ens, Mimi. all of them and kuya Jun fixing some stuff here in our house. :D was all too nice, but too bad they just got to be here for a couple of days. But tita Ens told me they'll be back in no time for our summer swimming. :D
I wasn't able to spend most of my Holy Week doing the same things I used to do, I attended the mass last Thursday, I wasn't feeling well that time but I insisted to go anyway, from what I can remember, I saw ate Chy and told here that I felt like I was gonna have a seizure, then she decided to walk me home, I didn't make it through inside our house, I already had my seizure in our yard. They told me it was very short seizure (thank goodness), I had some bruises but it's okay.
I wanted to attend the Friday procession, because its my yearly "panata", but I decided not to and my family won't let me. It was very hot Friday and there's a 90% possibility that I may have seizure while in the procession, all I could do was take pictures when the procession passed by our street.
I felt somehow sad for not being able to spend more time with kuya Donny, ate Gladz and ate Chy. There's always some other time for us though. :D
Then we attended the anticipated Easter Sunday mass last Saturday at 09:00pm here in our Parish Church. It was a different mass for everyone of us (I guess). It all started with the lighting of the candles in the Churchyard, while Fr. Jojo was reading a verse form the bible, a ball of fire came down from the Church Bell Tower, it was very nice. (too bad I wasn't able to bring my camera...). Then the mass took 3 hours, with the seven words. Then Fr. Jojo held a baptismal (sort of) celebration for everyone.
Here's the sad part. My relatives, went back to makati yesterday... now, its Mama, Me, ate Pauls and Vinatog here in our house. Sad...
I had a blessed Holy Week. :)
Seeing My Family and Relatives was a big bunch of blessings. :D
And Thank God for this nice Holy Week. :D
Holy Week for me is a recollection of how Jesus Christ died in the cross to save us from our sins... and so we must not make the cross more heavier for him and instead help him carry it. :D
Hope everyone had a blessed Holy Week too. :)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Kamay ni Hesus Pilgrimage
We had our Bisita Iglesia yesterday, with Lorice's family, we left here in our house at 04:00am and we go straight at Kamay ni Hesus Pilgrimage in Lucban, Quezon and got there at around 07:30am, we stayed in the car for some minutes because the rain was slightly pouring its blessings, then when it slowed into a mist, we headed for the church and light candles and say our prayers.
The Pilgrimage is about 200-300steps (couldn't keep the count because I was concentrating on not falling and hitting hard stones), representing the 14 Stations of the Cross with life size stone curved figures, in every station we stopped and pray "the way of the cross", in the middle landing is an Our Lady of Lourdes Image (Patron of the Sick) where everyone can wish prayers for the sick, then at the top is a 50 feet Image of Jesus Christ.
It was a tiring and exhausting way up but the experience is one of a kind. It gave me a gratifying feeling to reach the top, it was sort of a "sakripisyo" that i had for this Holy Week, every step is like a victorious moment for me.
Our next stop is in the Transfiguration Parish in Cavinti, short minutes away from Kamay ni Hesus. Then in The White Church of Pagsanjan, the home of the famous "Step Rite Store".
We were suppose to visit 13 more churches located in Laguna, including one in my birth place, The Parish of St. John the Baptist in Longos, Kalayaan. But My tita's and mama decided to go straight home for we at least finished the 14 stations of the cross in the pilgrimage and everyone was tired and it was getting hotter outside, which is always bad for me.
I've had Bisita Iglesia before, couldn't keep a count because we do it every holy week (except last year). I visited every churches in Laguna. Every church has its own beauty and personality.
We got home past lunch hours.
We went to Ate Chy-Chy's Family Pabasa in the evening and had our dinner there. :D but didn't stayed long like we did before because I was still tired and my muscles were aching.
Tonight we will have a Holy Sacrament Visits, starting here in our St. Gabriel Archangel Parish - Bingonan Parish Church. We'll see different arrangements of the Holy Sacrament.
This really is a busy Holy Week. :D
We plan on Going on another Pilgrimage next year, we're still thinking of the place though. :)
*I'll be posting pictures later. :)
The Pilgrimage is about 200-300steps (couldn't keep the count because I was concentrating on not falling and hitting hard stones), representing the 14 Stations of the Cross with life size stone curved figures, in every station we stopped and pray "the way of the cross", in the middle landing is an Our Lady of Lourdes Image (Patron of the Sick) where everyone can wish prayers for the sick, then at the top is a 50 feet Image of Jesus Christ.
It was a tiring and exhausting way up but the experience is one of a kind. It gave me a gratifying feeling to reach the top, it was sort of a "sakripisyo" that i had for this Holy Week, every step is like a victorious moment for me.
Our next stop is in the Transfiguration Parish in Cavinti, short minutes away from Kamay ni Hesus. Then in The White Church of Pagsanjan, the home of the famous "Step Rite Store".
We were suppose to visit 13 more churches located in Laguna, including one in my birth place, The Parish of St. John the Baptist in Longos, Kalayaan. But My tita's and mama decided to go straight home for we at least finished the 14 stations of the cross in the pilgrimage and everyone was tired and it was getting hotter outside, which is always bad for me.
I've had Bisita Iglesia before, couldn't keep a count because we do it every holy week (except last year). I visited every churches in Laguna. Every church has its own beauty and personality.
We got home past lunch hours.
We went to Ate Chy-Chy's Family Pabasa in the evening and had our dinner there. :D but didn't stayed long like we did before because I was still tired and my muscles were aching.
Tonight we will have a Holy Sacrament Visits, starting here in our St. Gabriel Archangel Parish - Bingonan Parish Church. We'll see different arrangements of the Holy Sacrament.
This really is a busy Holy Week. :D
We plan on Going on another Pilgrimage next year, we're still thinking of the place though. :)
*I'll be posting pictures later. :)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Matalik na Kaibigan (Chapter 01)
“Sandali nalang, magkikita na kami…”
Habang nasa byahe si Astrid, bumabalik ang lahat ng mga alaala nya, yung mga masasaya at mga kalimot-limot na nakaraan nilang dalawa ni Christian. Matagal na din nung huli sila magkita. Madami na ang nagbago, sa kanya, sa buhay nya.
Magkaibigan sila simula pa nung college. May communication pa din naman silang dalawa, kahit na nga hindi sila nagkikita. Masasabi nyang si Christian and pinaka malapit na kaibigan nya. Lahat pwede nya sabihin dito at alam nyang hindi sya papabayaan nito, lalo na pag kailangan nya ng isang kaibigan pag dumadating ang mga panahon na nawawalan na sya ng pag-asa.
Madami nadin silang pinag samahan. Mga bagay na hindi alam ng iba pa nilang mga kaibigan. Basta ang alam ni Astrid, pag nandyan si Christian, Masaya na sya… animado naman sya sa sarili nyang mahal nya si Christian, higit pa sa kaya nitong ibigay. Dahil ang totoo nyan, hanggang sa pagiging matalik na mag kaibigan lang ang meron sila.
Para kaya Astrid, ayos na ang makita nya si Christian sa araw-araw, ang maka-usap ito, makita ang mga ngiti nito, makasabay sa paglalakad, makasama sa pag-gawa ng school works, maging part sya ng buhay nito kahit na sa simpleng paraan lang. May mga bagay din silang napagkasunduan, mga pangako nila sa isa’t-isa, mga plano nila.
Si Christian kasi ang first love ni Astrid... Natututo syang magmahal sa paraang alam nya. Naintidihan nya ang mga meaning ng tinatawag nilang unconditional love dahil sa pagmamahal nya dito at hindi lang sa mga nababasa nya at naririnig nya.
Hindi naman umaasa si Astrid na mamahalin din sya ni Christian. Ang mahalin si Christian ay tama na para sa kanya.
Alam naman ni Christian ang tunay na nararamdaman ni Astrid. Sa katunayan nyan kahit naman kasi hindi sabihin ay nakikita at nararamdaman nya ito. Dumating din naman ang araw na sinabi ni Astrid sa kanya ang tungkol dito.
Ngunit isa lang talagang matalik na kaibigan si Astrid.
Sa paglipas ng panahon, natutunang itago at itanggi ni Astrid ang nararamdaman nya para kay Christian. Nagsimula sya ng panibagong buhay, ang buhay na hindi kasama at kabilang si Christian. Nakayanan nyang harapin ang bawat araw na hindi ito nakikita, natutunan nya din itong alisin sa isip nya, sa tuwing may mga bagay na makakapag-paalala sa kanya kay Christian.
Natutunang kalimutan ng isip nya si Christian.
Sa tuwing masasaktan si Astrid, lagi nya lang sinasabi sa sarili na: “okay lang yan Astrid, kaya mo yan... ikaw pa...” may mga pagkakataon din na gusto nya ng puntahan si Christian at umiyak dito, kagaya ng ginagawa nya dati... Iba kasi pag kay Christian sya umiiyak, may mga simpleng bagay na nagagawa si Christian na malaki ang naitutulong sa kanya.
Iba kasi si Christian sa lahat.
Pero iba na din kasi ngayon... Nag bago na ang lahat...
Hindi na nga nya masayadong kilala si Christian. Hindi nya alam kung katulad pa din ba sya ng dati… Hindi nya din alam kung bakit at papano sya napagbigyan ng pagkakataon na makita itong muli.
At ilang minuto nalang magkikita na ulit sila. Makakasama nya na ulit ito, kahit na sandali lang. Makakausap at makikita ang mga ngiti nito.
“Kamusta na kaya si Christian? Na-miss nya din kaya ako? Katulad pa din kaya sya ng dating Christian na kilala ko...”
Hindi nya alam kung tutuloy pa ba sya o babalik sya pauwi. Habang naglalakad sya papunta sa napagkasunduan nilang lugar kung san sila magkikita, hindi sya makapas-isip ng maayos. Hindi nya alam kung papano sya magre-react, katulad pa din ba ng dati? o yung tipong casual lang silang magkakilala... Hindi nya alam.
“Astrid?”
“Chris?”
Yun pala ang pakiramdam ng matagal mo hindi nakita ang taong pilit kinalimutan ng isip mo at sya namang laman ng puso mo...
May mga bagay din na ipinagbago si Christian. Pero pag iisiping mabuti, ganun pa din sya.Ang Christian na nakilala ni Astrid.
Ang Christian na matalik nyang kaibigan.
Ang Christian na Mahal nya...
Pero may mga bagay na hindi na din magbabago.
Dahil si Astrid pa din ang kaibigan ni Christian.
Ang Matalik na Kaibigan nito...
Habang nasa byahe si Astrid, bumabalik ang lahat ng mga alaala nya, yung mga masasaya at mga kalimot-limot na nakaraan nilang dalawa ni Christian. Matagal na din nung huli sila magkita. Madami na ang nagbago, sa kanya, sa buhay nya.
Magkaibigan sila simula pa nung college. May communication pa din naman silang dalawa, kahit na nga hindi sila nagkikita. Masasabi nyang si Christian and pinaka malapit na kaibigan nya. Lahat pwede nya sabihin dito at alam nyang hindi sya papabayaan nito, lalo na pag kailangan nya ng isang kaibigan pag dumadating ang mga panahon na nawawalan na sya ng pag-asa.
Madami nadin silang pinag samahan. Mga bagay na hindi alam ng iba pa nilang mga kaibigan. Basta ang alam ni Astrid, pag nandyan si Christian, Masaya na sya… animado naman sya sa sarili nyang mahal nya si Christian, higit pa sa kaya nitong ibigay. Dahil ang totoo nyan, hanggang sa pagiging matalik na mag kaibigan lang ang meron sila.
Para kaya Astrid, ayos na ang makita nya si Christian sa araw-araw, ang maka-usap ito, makita ang mga ngiti nito, makasabay sa paglalakad, makasama sa pag-gawa ng school works, maging part sya ng buhay nito kahit na sa simpleng paraan lang. May mga bagay din silang napagkasunduan, mga pangako nila sa isa’t-isa, mga plano nila.
Si Christian kasi ang first love ni Astrid... Natututo syang magmahal sa paraang alam nya. Naintidihan nya ang mga meaning ng tinatawag nilang unconditional love dahil sa pagmamahal nya dito at hindi lang sa mga nababasa nya at naririnig nya.
Hindi naman umaasa si Astrid na mamahalin din sya ni Christian. Ang mahalin si Christian ay tama na para sa kanya.
Alam naman ni Christian ang tunay na nararamdaman ni Astrid. Sa katunayan nyan kahit naman kasi hindi sabihin ay nakikita at nararamdaman nya ito. Dumating din naman ang araw na sinabi ni Astrid sa kanya ang tungkol dito.
Ngunit isa lang talagang matalik na kaibigan si Astrid.
Sa paglipas ng panahon, natutunang itago at itanggi ni Astrid ang nararamdaman nya para kay Christian. Nagsimula sya ng panibagong buhay, ang buhay na hindi kasama at kabilang si Christian. Nakayanan nyang harapin ang bawat araw na hindi ito nakikita, natutunan nya din itong alisin sa isip nya, sa tuwing may mga bagay na makakapag-paalala sa kanya kay Christian.
Natutunang kalimutan ng isip nya si Christian.
Sa tuwing masasaktan si Astrid, lagi nya lang sinasabi sa sarili na: “okay lang yan Astrid, kaya mo yan... ikaw pa...” may mga pagkakataon din na gusto nya ng puntahan si Christian at umiyak dito, kagaya ng ginagawa nya dati... Iba kasi pag kay Christian sya umiiyak, may mga simpleng bagay na nagagawa si Christian na malaki ang naitutulong sa kanya.
Iba kasi si Christian sa lahat.
Pero iba na din kasi ngayon... Nag bago na ang lahat...
Hindi na nga nya masayadong kilala si Christian. Hindi nya alam kung katulad pa din ba sya ng dati… Hindi nya din alam kung bakit at papano sya napagbigyan ng pagkakataon na makita itong muli.
At ilang minuto nalang magkikita na ulit sila. Makakasama nya na ulit ito, kahit na sandali lang. Makakausap at makikita ang mga ngiti nito.
“Kamusta na kaya si Christian? Na-miss nya din kaya ako? Katulad pa din kaya sya ng dating Christian na kilala ko...”
Hindi nya alam kung tutuloy pa ba sya o babalik sya pauwi. Habang naglalakad sya papunta sa napagkasunduan nilang lugar kung san sila magkikita, hindi sya makapas-isip ng maayos. Hindi nya alam kung papano sya magre-react, katulad pa din ba ng dati? o yung tipong casual lang silang magkakilala... Hindi nya alam.
“Astrid?”
“Chris?”
Yun pala ang pakiramdam ng matagal mo hindi nakita ang taong pilit kinalimutan ng isip mo at sya namang laman ng puso mo...
May mga bagay din na ipinagbago si Christian. Pero pag iisiping mabuti, ganun pa din sya.Ang Christian na nakilala ni Astrid.
Ang Christian na matalik nyang kaibigan.
Ang Christian na Mahal nya...
Pero may mga bagay na hindi na din magbabago.
Dahil si Astrid pa din ang kaibigan ni Christian.
Ang Matalik na Kaibigan nito...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Cotton Candy Cloud - Puppy on the Run
I saw this cotton candy cloud early this morning when i woke up really late, I was just browsing the net in our balcony and saw the cloud, I find it really cute and took a picture of it.
Here's the Shot
Then after some minutes, when I look up, I saw the shape change into a puppy running. It was really nice so I took another picture and I decided to blog about it. :)
Here's the shot of puppy on the run. :)
Sooooooooo cute! I find this things really nice. :)
I now appreciate more of the little things life offers and this world also does. :)
I don't know, so much has change... and some things has been decided...
Anyway, just really find this pictures cute. :D hayz... the weird old me. :)
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Really Sick. :(
I slept at around 4am kanina, then i woke up at around 7am because of a severe tummy ache... then the pain got worse, it was like i can feel the pain everywhere, i wasn't able to take medicines immediately 'coz the drug store wasn't open yet...
The pain is excruciating... I wanted to scream but I can't, because I can't even breathe... and finally at around 11am, i was able to take medicines but the wrose part was there's still so much pain.
Mama ask if I can make it to the hospital, I told her I can't, moving really makes the pain worse... that was the craziest tummy ache I've had in the 25 years of my life... good thing my ate Gladys and my tita Trify were both nurses, they helped ease the pain by telling me what to do and just telling me that the meds were just taking time to take effect, a bost of moral support...
Thank God i felt better and was able to sleep for 2hours. I thought everything is gonna be fine but the worse part wasn't over yet... at around 5pm this late afternoon, i felt like i was gonna have a fever and my temperature went high that you can actually fry an egg in my forehead...
I took meds for the fever and lie down in my bed and sleepiness hit me in an instant.
I thought I was just dreaming, I was hearing voices and sensed that they are worried and tensed. This was the part I hate most, I had a seizure while I was sleeping... Seizures for me were just like an ordinary part of my life, I got used to it...
This day wasn't just my day... Hope tomorrow would be better.
I decided to just post a blog because I can't sleep right after a seizure... the good thing though is that i was not very disoriented after my seizure, usually after i had one, I can't remember what I was doing before. Maybe a slight memory lapse is one of the bad effects this condition gives me.
I'm still thankful, I have my mama and my bakasyonistas here. they're playing scrabble now, with their lola chay.
After this blog, I will try to sleep and pray that tomorrow would be better. :D
The pain is excruciating... I wanted to scream but I can't, because I can't even breathe... and finally at around 11am, i was able to take medicines but the wrose part was there's still so much pain.
Mama ask if I can make it to the hospital, I told her I can't, moving really makes the pain worse... that was the craziest tummy ache I've had in the 25 years of my life... good thing my ate Gladys and my tita Trify were both nurses, they helped ease the pain by telling me what to do and just telling me that the meds were just taking time to take effect, a bost of moral support...
Thank God i felt better and was able to sleep for 2hours. I thought everything is gonna be fine but the worse part wasn't over yet... at around 5pm this late afternoon, i felt like i was gonna have a fever and my temperature went high that you can actually fry an egg in my forehead...
I took meds for the fever and lie down in my bed and sleepiness hit me in an instant.
I thought I was just dreaming, I was hearing voices and sensed that they are worried and tensed. This was the part I hate most, I had a seizure while I was sleeping... Seizures for me were just like an ordinary part of my life, I got used to it...
This day wasn't just my day... Hope tomorrow would be better.
I decided to just post a blog because I can't sleep right after a seizure... the good thing though is that i was not very disoriented after my seizure, usually after i had one, I can't remember what I was doing before. Maybe a slight memory lapse is one of the bad effects this condition gives me.
I'm still thankful, I have my mama and my bakasyonistas here. they're playing scrabble now, with their lola chay.
After this blog, I will try to sleep and pray that tomorrow would be better. :D
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Pauls and Pepz officially started their long vacation here in the province. :D happy!!!
Its nice to have them here, though super kulits and more kulits, it's nice. :)
They've been bugging my mama to have an out of town swimming. We don't have plans yet, but I'm sure they'll have what they want. :) (uuwi nanaman silang maiitim) hehehe. :)
Shocks, time really goes by so fast, kasi super laki na nila and i mean literally laki. hahaha. :D
I'll blog about our trips and post pictures. :D
My HP Mini
I had my HP Mini yesterday, my mama bought it for me. :)
Since we're staying in the province and cable channels are not working for me, i decided to have an internet connection. :D good thing my mama get me a wireless net connection. :D yehey!!!
Now, I can blog anywhere and anytime i want. :)
Since we're staying in the province and cable channels are not working for me, i decided to have an internet connection. :D good thing my mama get me a wireless net connection. :D yehey!!!
Now, I can blog anywhere and anytime i want. :)
Here's a shot of my HP Mini.
Thank God for Lan, he was the one who suggested that i buy this notebook. :) he's a techy guy who loves gadgets. :) here's his blog site: http://aac-ph.blogspot.com/ check his cool site. :)
You guys can expect loads of blog posts from me. :) specially this coming holyweek, 'coz we'll have a busy holyweek this year. :D
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thankful.
After all that I have been through and all the pains that My life faced and will be facing, I still have reasons to be thankful for, some may be simple but I know that without those reasons, I wouldn't be standing here and still journeying.
I have lost and won battles.
In the middle of every battle, I know that there comes a time when I just wanted to give up and just accept failure and just walk away from it, there even comes a time when I want to end all of those battles with my rush decisions.
But in those times of darkness, some of the people who trust in me will never leave me and they will give me strength whenever I fall, they are the voices that tells me to never give up and give me a hand when i need one.
From their simple words of encouragement and their effort to make me laugh and smile for even just a minute, gives me hope... knowing that they are just around ready to be by my side when I need them, makes me wanna go on further and reach for my destination...
There are some who would listen to what i want to say for as long as i want to tell about how I feel... without judging me because of my weakness and my faults. Telling me to just be strong and that time will come where I can be myself and be happy about it.
I wouldn't say who those persons are but I'm sure that you guys know who you are. :D
I'm thankful for those persons, for their smiles, their encouraging words. thankful that some of them remembers to check up on me every once in a while.
Now, I feel calm. Not Happy but Calm, that's better. spending time with those people gives me the courage to face the uncertainties of tomorrow.
Now, I enjoy My solo adventures, well simple adventures actually, like watching movies by myself, dining out alone, my blissful walks in the malls, my solo happy book hunting, my solo plans. though I can still recall one public seizure I had, I was watching Twilight and I just realized I had a seizure 'coz my frapp was all over my shirt, but it's okay, I wasn't hurt and I didn't bumped my head. :D
I'm now even thinking of travelling alone in other far-far places :D (but of course, I still can't, due to my medical conditions), but i know that "my travelling alone time will come". :D but not for now. :)
I have realized that night times are also good because I would be able to see the moon and the stars that twinkles brightly. and RAINS... before I used to feel so down whenever it rains, now it's okay, because without rain, my pains would never be wash away. and storms are also good, because without those storms, I will never be strong. :D
My friend Chris, once told me: "If God won't let you climb the highest mountain, you would never see the other side of Life..."
*chris, now I know you're right. :D
Now I can look forward in My life. not a perfect life but a life that is calm and warm, it would sometimes be cold but it will pass, then i'll be welcoming sunshine again. :)
And someday somehow, I'll be Fine. :D
I have lost and won battles.
In the middle of every battle, I know that there comes a time when I just wanted to give up and just accept failure and just walk away from it, there even comes a time when I want to end all of those battles with my rush decisions.
But in those times of darkness, some of the people who trust in me will never leave me and they will give me strength whenever I fall, they are the voices that tells me to never give up and give me a hand when i need one.
From their simple words of encouragement and their effort to make me laugh and smile for even just a minute, gives me hope... knowing that they are just around ready to be by my side when I need them, makes me wanna go on further and reach for my destination...
There are some who would listen to what i want to say for as long as i want to tell about how I feel... without judging me because of my weakness and my faults. Telling me to just be strong and that time will come where I can be myself and be happy about it.
I wouldn't say who those persons are but I'm sure that you guys know who you are. :D
I'm thankful for those persons, for their smiles, their encouraging words. thankful that some of them remembers to check up on me every once in a while.
Now, I feel calm. Not Happy but Calm, that's better. spending time with those people gives me the courage to face the uncertainties of tomorrow.
Now, I enjoy My solo adventures, well simple adventures actually, like watching movies by myself, dining out alone, my blissful walks in the malls, my solo happy book hunting, my solo plans. though I can still recall one public seizure I had, I was watching Twilight and I just realized I had a seizure 'coz my frapp was all over my shirt, but it's okay, I wasn't hurt and I didn't bumped my head. :D
I'm now even thinking of travelling alone in other far-far places :D (but of course, I still can't, due to my medical conditions), but i know that "my travelling alone time will come". :D but not for now. :)
I have realized that night times are also good because I would be able to see the moon and the stars that twinkles brightly. and RAINS... before I used to feel so down whenever it rains, now it's okay, because without rain, my pains would never be wash away. and storms are also good, because without those storms, I will never be strong. :D
My friend Chris, once told me: "If God won't let you climb the highest mountain, you would never see the other side of Life..."
*chris, now I know you're right. :D
Now I can look forward in My life. not a perfect life but a life that is calm and warm, it would sometimes be cold but it will pass, then i'll be welcoming sunshine again. :)
And someday somehow, I'll be Fine. :D
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Old Poem
I wrote this poem when I was still in college (1st year college). Summer of 2001. -30.05.01-
The moment I told Myself I was losing You...
I asked Myself a million times
If ever you become Mine.
Maybe I was wrong to make My mind believe,
In what My heart does...
I made My own world with just you and Me
It was so wrong for Me to do that,
But I felt that it's what My heart wanted...
I made you promise Me promises...
You never did it for yourself nor for Me
But for what I wanted...
Now I'm taking consequences of My own
Blind decisions
I don't know who to blame...
But what I'm very sure of, is that you and Me
Were just victims of this feeling called
"LOVE"
Which I'm very tired of battling with
Alone...
If ever I would still feel this way for you
Even when the time has passed and things have changed...
I'll make sure that somehow in some way
I'll let you know how much
"I LOVE YOU..."
-I didn't include the title for a reason.
The moment I told Myself I was losing You...
I asked Myself a million times
If ever you become Mine.
Maybe I was wrong to make My mind believe,
In what My heart does...
I made My own world with just you and Me
It was so wrong for Me to do that,
But I felt that it's what My heart wanted...
I made you promise Me promises...
You never did it for yourself nor for Me
But for what I wanted...
Now I'm taking consequences of My own
Blind decisions
I don't know who to blame...
But what I'm very sure of, is that you and Me
Were just victims of this feeling called
"LOVE"
Which I'm very tired of battling with
Alone...
If ever I would still feel this way for you
Even when the time has passed and things have changed...
I'll make sure that somehow in some way
I'll let you know how much
"I LOVE YOU..."
-I didn't include the title for a reason.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I Need to Be Away for Awhile. :D
it's not what you guys are thinking of... not really.
i just want to go away for awhile...
to have a quiet day(s) by myself and not think of anything. it's not an escape though, just a break from things around me... a short break, which i deserve...
i may be out of reach for days and please, i don't want anyone worrying about me, okay? :D just give me a little space to figure out some things...
i'm getting through every day just fine...
a friend once told me: "You cannot really forget about hurtful past, its more of replacing it with a much better memories..." and that's what i'm trying to do, remember each and every single happiness i felt now... :) (i even wrote them in my happee diary).
lately, i've been having memory lapses... badly. i can't remember where i left my things (ipod, cellphone, chargers, wallet, remote controls), i can't even remember if i already took my morning meds... i can't remember what day it is. yep, that's how bad it is... i don't know why, maybe its some of my medical condition side effects... i don't know. so i'll just go on with it and i do take notes of important things though.
and that's why i wanna go someplace far... but of course i'll be back, so there's no need to worry. :D
so if anyone texted me or i missed your calls... i'm really sorry... i try to keep myself away from my cellphone, personal matters. hehehe. :D
this also means, no blog posts, no web accounts updates. :D and this would also mean that you guys won't reach me here in makati. :D (hope some of you would miss me) hehehe. (pa-importante, bongga!) :D
but i'll see my college friends soon (missssssss themmmmm soooooooooo much). we're just waiting for pangs to be back, hayz... ang tagal naman kasi eh. :D
i miss going out with them, dine out, watch movies, "ang magpa-gala-gala" :D, *dru, i miss getting drunk, so be ready. okay? :D (joke lang po). :D
hope that when i get back, i'll be much better. *wink*
toodles! :D
i just want to go away for awhile...
to have a quiet day(s) by myself and not think of anything. it's not an escape though, just a break from things around me... a short break, which i deserve...
i may be out of reach for days and please, i don't want anyone worrying about me, okay? :D just give me a little space to figure out some things...
i'm getting through every day just fine...
a friend once told me: "You cannot really forget about hurtful past, its more of replacing it with a much better memories..." and that's what i'm trying to do, remember each and every single happiness i felt now... :) (i even wrote them in my happee diary).
lately, i've been having memory lapses... badly. i can't remember where i left my things (ipod, cellphone, chargers, wallet, remote controls), i can't even remember if i already took my morning meds... i can't remember what day it is. yep, that's how bad it is... i don't know why, maybe its some of my medical condition side effects... i don't know. so i'll just go on with it and i do take notes of important things though.
and that's why i wanna go someplace far... but of course i'll be back, so there's no need to worry. :D
so if anyone texted me or i missed your calls... i'm really sorry... i try to keep myself away from my cellphone, personal matters. hehehe. :D
this also means, no blog posts, no web accounts updates. :D and this would also mean that you guys won't reach me here in makati. :D (hope some of you would miss me) hehehe. (pa-importante, bongga!) :D
but i'll see my college friends soon (missssssss themmmmm soooooooooo much). we're just waiting for pangs to be back, hayz... ang tagal naman kasi eh. :D
i miss going out with them, dine out, watch movies, "ang magpa-gala-gala" :D, *dru, i miss getting drunk, so be ready. okay? :D (joke lang po). :D
hope that when i get back, i'll be much better. *wink*
toodles! :D
Thursday, January 1, 2009
My Happy New Year. :D
yes, it's 01:42am in my machine clock and here i am blogging.
I had a New Year Blast with my Family. :D we watched fireworks and give our best screams for every nice fireworks. it's soooooo fun. hehehe. :D (siguro, isang taon nanaman ako maingay, well for this year). I jumped as high as i can, gusto ko kasi sanang tumangkad (pa, kahit konti lang...) :D and we took pictures sa street. hehehe, with my mama and papa, kuya, cousins, niece's and nephew's, aunts. :D
i'll post some pictures in my multiply and friendster account (pero sorry for the low resolution ha, galing kasi sa phone ko) hehehe.
and i won't forget the part where i stumble in our stairs... hahaha!!! everyone saw it and they thought i was having a siezure... hehehe. :)) good thing i wasn't. nice start. :D (kahit pagod, walang siezure... pero humingi na ako gamot sa mama ko) hehehe. :D
ayun, we had our new year's eve dinner. :D YUM!!! (pero, i have to cut on my food intake, sa dahilang gusto ko lang... and hindi sya new year's resolution noh...)
after this blog, i'll sleep na, baka kasi matuloy kami ni Panget mamaya. kaya, rest na. :D
I'm just praying for a nice year for my family and me. my friends. :) i don't need this year to be perfect (who needs perfection anyway...) i'm just hoping that iy would be better than last year. :D and of course, less seizures. :D
so, to all my family and friends, HAPPY-HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :D
God Bless. :D
xoxo
-ces
I had a New Year Blast with my Family. :D we watched fireworks and give our best screams for every nice fireworks. it's soooooo fun. hehehe. :D (siguro, isang taon nanaman ako maingay, well for this year). I jumped as high as i can, gusto ko kasi sanang tumangkad (pa, kahit konti lang...) :D and we took pictures sa street. hehehe, with my mama and papa, kuya, cousins, niece's and nephew's, aunts. :D
i'll post some pictures in my multiply and friendster account (pero sorry for the low resolution ha, galing kasi sa phone ko) hehehe.
and i won't forget the part where i stumble in our stairs... hahaha!!! everyone saw it and they thought i was having a siezure... hehehe. :)) good thing i wasn't. nice start. :D (kahit pagod, walang siezure... pero humingi na ako gamot sa mama ko) hehehe. :D
ayun, we had our new year's eve dinner. :D YUM!!! (pero, i have to cut on my food intake, sa dahilang gusto ko lang... and hindi sya new year's resolution noh...)
after this blog, i'll sleep na, baka kasi matuloy kami ni Panget mamaya. kaya, rest na. :D
I'm just praying for a nice year for my family and me. my friends. :) i don't need this year to be perfect (who needs perfection anyway...) i'm just hoping that iy would be better than last year. :D and of course, less seizures. :D
so, to all my family and friends, HAPPY-HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :D
God Bless. :D
xoxo
-ces
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